To think most men are filthy losers

[fightbackorriseabove]

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

The article explicitly states that it's not really about 'wanting' to be dominated for most of them and is in fact a response to sexual trauma.

Are you saying 50% of women do not understand their own sexuality??

I can't bear to RTFT and hear about people's very sad experiences with awful men (and the inevitable NAMALT / not my Nigel business).

But one of the last points on your original post, @fightbackorriseabove , was about sex not being a human right.

And I have several lefty academic friends - women! and queer women at that! - who do genuinely believe that sex is a human right. As in, everyone is entitled to sex. If nobody wants to shag you, someone must be found whose consent can be procured one way or another. They believe this is pure common sense and anyone who thinks otherwise is a bigot.

Because they're all quite militant in their views (they've been known to ostracise one of their colleagues because she says hello, when out walking her dog, to a fellow dog-walker who is known to be gender critical), I've been too scared to ask them any questions about how this would work - like, how often are all human beings entitled to have sex? Whenever they want, or is it rationed? What types of sexual activity count towards our entitlement? Does it have to be full penetrative sex, or would a hand job suffice? What if the only person who will consent to sex with you is someone you don't want to have sex with? Can you appeal? Get compensation? Sue? Would there be a whole government department devoted to the administration of sexual benefits?

I just can't make sense of any of it at all. The world's gone mad.

You get threads like this and then people simultaneously get angry when the incels say things like “all women are dirty sluts”. You cannot generalise and threads like this are part of the problem and don’t help women’s cause at all. No, most men don’t wank online to webcams.

It’s not you. It’s men.

You’re not doing anything wrong.

When I was heavily pregnant and waiting to cross the road some loser in a beat up car tried hitting on me - while he sat in his shitty car! I thought surely he’s talking to the person standing behind me because I had done absolutely nothing to attract anyone’s attention. I was dressed modestly, I was minding my own business. Then this POS started abusing me and calling me names because I ignored him. There was no one behind me.

Now I’m older I see how disgusting and lecherous men are.

My sister has caught men staring at her primary school aged daughter. Just absolutely creeping on her. It started when she was 10 and is escalating.

Historically men have never achieved very much, if anything. Even people like Fleming, or Shackleton, or Caesar, or Lincoln could have achieved so much more if they hadn’t spent their mornings wanking.
FFS.

I used to work in a law firm. What men do to women and young children is utterly disgusting. There’s so much violence and hatred towards women - most of it never even reaches the news. And these were the cases that the Dept of Public Prosecutions decided to prosecute- most were never even charged. And you know how the statistics indicated we are more likely to be assaulted by someone we know? Random attacks by strangers occur - it’s just that men who are around us are more likely to attack us in greater numbers.

They're probs two different things I think. That's talking about real violent pornography as opposed to fluffy handcuffs etc. But even if trauma response is the main reason for sake of argument, it still drives the industry as it wouldn't be made without an audience.

I think what you mention is true across the board. Men that abuse are also very often victims of abuse.

Do you mean this island in Finland? Sounds nice.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/laurabegleybloom/2018/07/31/this-women-bought-her-own-island-paradise-no-men-allowed/#5af0283e23fa

I worked with a woman who told a “funny story” in the office one day.

Her boyfriend gave her young primary school aged son his old iPad when he bought a new one. It was still set up to his Apple ID and this kid was subjected to so much porn. He told his mother and she thought it was funny.

We were all mortified in the office. My other colleague and I looked at each other like “WTF?!”

This woman and her boyfriend were dumb AF. You couldn’t have any conversation with him at all because he was so dim it was like he wasn’t even there.

Manpanderers - yes, you know, like you, the sort of manpandering doormat who will deflect, derail, darvo and whatabout and completely ignore the absolute cast iron reality that men are responsible for 98% of all violent crime as I stated. And at no time did I state or imply that women do not commit crimes.

And, as stated, sex class cannot ever be compared with race, religion or culture. Already asked and answered.

And, as you are well aware, men as a sex class are by far the biggest danger to women and children and other men.

Now, go manpander, deflect, derail and whatabout at someone else please, the grown ups are talking.

Our society has torn down all the expectations and moral imperatives it had built up for men to respect women, respect sex, and to respect their own bodies.

It's made fun of all the social norms, taboos, and expectations it used to have that would help men learn to suppress or limit elements of their sexual desire. We've told them they don't need to have any special respect for women. That sex is just a fun leisure activity with no serious inherent meaning, unless the people involved want that.

We've said that fantasy, no matter how weird, about coking your partner, banging your sister, or having sex with your dinosaur boss, is just fine because it's not real.

We've even said that sex is a physical need to be healthy and celibacy is weird and dangerous.

Most men have s fairly strong sex drive, especially when they are young, and it can be a struggle to keep it under wraps. Many don't innatly feel all sex has to be meaningful. They keep being told that women want sex in the same way they do.

A week or so ago a thread of women here on MN said it was weird and dumb to wait more than a few dates to have sex.

Of course men are hoping for sex on the first date and sending dick pics. Why wouldn't they, given all these modern"facts"about sex it's totally logical.

Try working for a digital forensics contractor! We used to have to analyse the hard drives/phones of the defendants. Not me personally but I've been involved in many horrible cases.

However, this stuff isn't day to day life for the vast majority of us. Most of us have fathers/brothers/sons/cousins/husbands plus a load of men we interact with on a daily basis at work and in our hobbies.

Most people that have an unconditional hatred against another demographic (be it based on ethnicity, gender, sexuality) just generally have a chip on their shoulder IME. It's clear that most of us aren't like that because study after study demonstrates that we believe in equality but don't want to identify with 'feminism'. I don't think it's due to 'manpandering', more that most women judge people as individuals and don't like this victim/blame nonsense.

People always seem to forget that the biggest victims of male violence are men. Most of them don't like it and they're largely the ones tackling it. We wouldn't have the vote, free speech, and all the rights we have if the majority of men didn't want us to. That's the truth. It'd be like Afghanistan if that's what most men wanted, make no mistake.

I'd rather work with men as a team than try and take on all the wrong uns on my own. Not least because most of the women that whinge don't actually do much else to help.

Nah. You literally never see men raping abusing wanking off over women in supermarkets and coffee shops, 99.999999% of them are completely and totally capable of controlling themselves where they think there will be consequences.

Men being porn soaked shitheads is entirely their own choice too.

I don't know who these "we" people and "society" people are as I have heard literally nobody ever claim sex is a need who wasn't a porn soaked misogynistic man, and even then only online they wouldn't say it in real life because they'd be laughed at.

So, no, we can just keep blaming men (as a group) for their own choices, as women have been trying for thousands of years to reign them in without success.

How many sex offenders have you helped put behind bars then?

Ever worked in construction or the waste industry? I can tell you first hand that none of the women that moan about male dominated industries actually want to do the hard graft.

Very few people have it easy nowadays, including men. If you're obsessing over crime stats then it usually means you're privileged enough to not have to worry about surviving day to day life, because nobody is worrying about being murdered when they can't put food on the table or are facing eviction.

The exception to this would be genuine survivors of sexual assault but usually it's just some middle class university educated white woman that thinks she's hard done by lol.

And, as stated, sex class cannot ever be compared with race, religion or culture. Already asked and answered.

And just because you say this doesn't make it true. Bet the men in Ukraine aren't enjoying their male privilege. IT managers and office workers now on the frontline with rifles in their hands hoping they don't get caught and castrated by the Russians soldiers.

What an absolutely moronic thing to post.

How many of those that aren't, ARE, though? They don't talk about it in polite society and they keep it hidden from their wives.

I was going to dig out some really hard-hitting government and police reports, talk about the men I know, give you some 'manosphere' stats and maybe discuss the tragedy of men's enslavement to their dicks.

I decided not to - partly because I'm tired, mostly because those who don't want to see will not look.

Obligatory #NotAllMen caveat, commentary on men being the one and only area in which reasonable generalisations must always be qualified.

I've read arguments that men's tendency to more sexual and violent misdemeanours than women is the price we have to pay for them bring more daring on average so taking career risks & dangerous jobs. Personally I wish men & women could all be more in the middle.

Youre getting a very skewed view because you're purposefully going to sites that those types of men inhabit (for your own reasons, as you've explained). They're Neanderthals but what do you expect going on ghastly sites like that?

and why were you "humouring" that bloke, why do that, tell him and all others like him to fo! Block and move on.

I do think that the availability of horrible internet pornography has broken men.

But then, maybe they were ripe to be broken.

It's always been very nice and easy for most men to objectify women. I'm a little bit aged, men have always treated women like meat.

I actually do have an ace father and it shooketh me when I realised that the vast majority of men didn't see me like a human being in the way that my father did.

It honestly rocked my world when I realised that I, as a woman wasn't seen in the same way as men. I think I was 14.

Off you go you manpanderer, nothing you have whined at me is even remotedly relevant to my factual, rational statement. Go find a mens wants comment board and give their boots a nice lick :)

Plenty of poor people worrying about food also live in crime-filled areas and DO have to worry about violence.

Women certainly don't commit the majority of child sexual abuse. I assume you mean physical abuse?

I didn't state that, I was responding to a manpanderer who did. Oops, I just realised you weren't quoting me - sorry, small screen!