To not know how to feel- trigger warning suicide

[HelloSunshine100]

We have just found out that an elderly aunt has killed herself. I feel so sad that she must have been so desperate but also confused to how I feel? We were not that close but would always see each other at Christmas and I always really liked her and she was very kind to me as a child. it’s such a shock
complicated family dynamics as my father had a very difficult relationship with her and they didn’t get along and he dislikes her. I don’t know all the details but think they had a difficult childhood.
it’s all so confusing I don’t know how to feel

I'm sorry for your loss . I can see why you feel conflicted if your father had a complicated relationship with your Aunt. However, you have fond memories of her from your relationship with her, which is separate from that, so it's understandable that you're grieving. Are you close to any other family who were also close to her?

it’s all so confusing I don’t know how to feel

Allow yourself to feel however you're feeling at any given moment, without questioning yourself.

I personally find that's the best way to deal with grief. Try not to analyse it.

I'm so sorry for your loss

I’m really sorry for your loss xx