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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report bail breach

2 replies

notfullyfunctioning · 02/08/2025 23:02

Background here is that im currently awaiting a police investigation for rape and other things from a man who I was seeing for a brief period, who attacked me when he got too drunk.

If im honest, the police have massively let me down. This happened 6 months ago now and still no evidence has been gathered and they have openly told me im not their priority. I’m very aware that this is not likely to go anywhere further, and this does upset me.

The question is, they told me that one of his bail conditions was that he must reside at a particular address each night, meaning he can’t go abroad - they specified that. But while I have him blocked on everything, he’s quite openly public on social media and has been posting lots of pictures of him abroad (I’ve been informed by others).

At the end of the day, him going abroad doesn’t really impact me, but unless he’s informed the police, it IS a breach? So should I tell them about it? My experience with the police really is that they won’t care if his abroad travel doesn’t impact me to be honest, hence why im thinking not to bother. He also may have asked ahead and they didn’t bother to inform me, that wouldn’t shock me. But honestly im so sick of it I feel like picking on him for a technicality, but also am aware it might just show me in a worse light.

And as a side note, if anyone has any tips in the police and actually getting anywhere with it, I would appreciate any support. It’s so crap and I’m so deflated by it all.

OP posts:
WhyDoesItAlways · 02/08/2025 23:25

I would say they are either not carrying out enquiries they should be doing or they are making enquiries but not updating you regularly enough. Either way you can make a complaint to the force about the handling of your case. After the comments made to you by the officer I would be asking for a new officer.

It's entirely possible the suspect has asked and been given permission to go abroad while on bail and I don't think it's unreasonable for them to have not told you that. As long as his whereabouts are not affecting you try and ignore him.

Sorry you're feeling understandably let down. It's a huge thing to report something like that and you deserve to be supported by the police.

notfullyfunctioning · 03/08/2025 00:03

WhyDoesItAlways · 02/08/2025 23:25

I would say they are either not carrying out enquiries they should be doing or they are making enquiries but not updating you regularly enough. Either way you can make a complaint to the force about the handling of your case. After the comments made to you by the officer I would be asking for a new officer.

It's entirely possible the suspect has asked and been given permission to go abroad while on bail and I don't think it's unreasonable for them to have not told you that. As long as his whereabouts are not affecting you try and ignore him.

Sorry you're feeling understandably let down. It's a huge thing to report something like that and you deserve to be supported by the police.

Thank you for your message. You’re probably right about the abroad travel, and it was my thoughts. I’m just feeling petty at the moment.

They aren’t carrying them out. I chased it recently, and they basically said that nothing has been done yet. There was a very key point of evidence that I asked them to collect, and they laughed and said ‘oh thanks for reminding me to collect that’. I have absolutely no faith in this police investigation and don’t know why I bothered reporting.

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