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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Live chats on WhatsApp?

5 replies

zzmonstera · 14/07/2025 12:26

Do you like to have "Live" chats on Whatsapp?

I mean where you are both online and responding to each other instantly via messages?

Personally I really struggle with this because I feel a time pressure to respond. I prefer to read a message, respond a while later, and wait a while for the reply (but I know people get annoyed by being "left on read"/ blue ticks, so I try not to do this!)

Could be to do with ADHD/ neurodivergence, but a slower pace just makes me less anxious. Back and forth instant messages tend to stress me out. If I see someone messages me, I wait a while before I read and respond, and I deliberately try not to get into back-and-forth instant messaging where both people are waiting on the other's response.

The only person I don't avoid it with is my husband (but then I would probably just ring him really!)

AIBU?

OP posts:
YesHonestly · 14/07/2025 12:27

I have my read receipts and online status turned off for this reason!

Nobody can see when I’m online, when I was last on line, or when I’ve read their message so I can just reply when it’s convenient for me.

murasaki · 14/07/2025 12:28

Sometimes, depends who it is. I do it with my dad quite a bit when we're both watching the cricket. Or with my best friend, but otherwise I do what you do.

TeenLifeMum · 14/07/2025 12:31

If I left mine I’d never remember to go back to them. Mine are usually from dh, dm or dc and often need an instant reply. Dh and I have full conversations over WhatsApp back and forth so if we’re in a conversation then the reply needs to be instant. Some less important ones I don’t read so the ticks aren’t blue. Once blue I have to reply 😂

zzmonstera · 14/07/2025 12:33

TeenLifeMum · 14/07/2025 12:31

If I left mine I’d never remember to go back to them. Mine are usually from dh, dm or dc and often need an instant reply. Dh and I have full conversations over WhatsApp back and forth so if we’re in a conversation then the reply needs to be instant. Some less important ones I don’t read so the ticks aren’t blue. Once blue I have to reply 😂

I do sometimes forget tbf 😬I will sometimes mark them as unread to try and remind myself (if I know it's someone who won't care about the blue tick thing!)

OP posts:
sweetpickle2 · 14/07/2025 12:36

I have all my blue ticks/read receipts turned off, I have notifications turned off, and all my messages live in archived until I decide to sit down and look through them. If I feel like I have to be responding to things the second they come in then I'm just glued to my phone all day and I can't focus on other things. ADHD here.

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