To feel bad about my daughters older bf?

[ChirpyCrab]

My daughter just turned 21 and i knew she was dating someone, but she never told me about him until last week, she said it's just a fling, so I didn't pry much. However, it ended up being a divorced 44 year old, with another adult kid who doesn't live with him. He is her driver to work, my daughter works as an overseas carer, and he is hired by the company to be a driver.

I really don't know what to do in this situation, I really don't like it, but what can I do?

Sounds grim
but what can u do ? She’s a grown up …
and he sounds like a chancer … ugh

You can't do anything. Presumably from your post she actually lives and works overseas.. even if she doesn't, she is a fully paid up adult,you don't get to say who she sees.

You do nothing, because it’s none of your business.

Oh goodness I would feel terrible too. I would tell my daughter to raise her standards.

Gross

It's really hard OP when your adult DC get involved in relationships you feel are unsuitable and where you see red flags a fluttering. However, not a lot you can do but stay close, keep your opinions to yourself and be there to pick up the pieces, if and when necessary

Been there several times so I sympathise

I have 2 friends who married guys twice their age, they were younger than your DD, one broke up after 5 years the other after 20,they are still civil,20 year pair have dks.My nextdoor neighbours are her,54,him 74 and they still absolutely adore each other, I can hear the way she speaks to him.

No idea why the bloke should be considered the chancer. If he's successful earning good money, she could be accused of riding his gravy train.