AIBU? That we didn’t go ?

[blueyavocado]

MIL went away on holiday, and said she wanted to cook a roast for us on Sunday when she came back. My partner phoned her and said not to worry about cooking us a roast as the weather was so hot and asked if we could bring some food around to do a bbq instead. She agreed.

Anyway, she phoned us on Saturday and said she had invited 11 of her friends around. We were under the impression it was just the family and thar it would be chilled. When she invites to many people over her friends get very drunk and she knows no interest in her grandson. So we told her we wouldn’t be going as we didn’t realise there would be so many people.

She was very offended by this but didn’t listen to our side of how we feel. Since then she’s been sending us nasty texts telling us we are antisocial and have no friends etc.

Are we being unreasonable for not going to something that we thought would just be a small family get to gather ?

Was she expecting you to buy, and then cook, for her 11 friends?
Maybe respond that she’s a CF for expecting you to cater for a party with 11 friends that you had no interest in spending time with!
But no, YANBU to not want to go to that, different if that was the original plan and you had agreed to attend.

I assume the 11 friends were only invited once you said you'd BBQ. She is a CF!

Not at all unreasonable. I doubt she'd have been planning a roast for your family plus 11 more. She saw the opportunity for a party at no effort or expense to her and I suspect rubbed her hands with glee.

Absolutely right to decline to go. Does she have form for this sort of thing?