To be overqualified for this

[givingsummer]

I have two degrees and 20 years' experience in corporate banking.

My nine year old is insisting her bumhole is haunted, and my 12 year-old is performing an exorcism.

FML.

Get your 12 year old away from your nine year olds bumhole.

No one is overqualified for parenting.

You absolutely are not qualified for this at all. But nobody is.

They are both girls, both fully-clothed, and just dicking around. All is good.

What do you mean that you are overqualified? Do you think parenting is beneath you?

Just a light-hearted joke. Move along, all is well!

Think of it as a side hustle!

Suddenly, being childless doesn't seem so bad.

But we're either of your dissertations in haunting of rectum? If not them I'm afraid you are woefully unqualified 😆

I'm going to regret this...

Why does the younger one think that it's haunted, OP?

WTF?

It's making spooky noises and bad smells.

(You did ask.)

I mean...I worked in secondary schools for 40 years. The closest to this that i can think of is when a third yr/Y10 pupil yelled in agony at another boy: "For God's sake min [sic]! Has something crawled up there and died?"

You make an excellent point.

Ah. I wasn't far off the mark then.

You sound underqualified in bumhole exorcisms. Watch and learn!

I'm not proud of this, but during the Blair era, the line that I used when a lesson was interrupted by something of this sort was "Now we know where they hid the weapons of mass destruction."

I am not going to google where you might learn this skill. I might just leave my 12 year-old to it.

That's not the spirit! You never know when this may be necessary in a meeting on interest rates and consolidating toxic debt.

Is anyone qualified for that? 🤣

Noooooo!!!! No ad hoc exorcisms allowed in Finance. Far too risky. We have no idea who might go poof! Have to submit an exorcism runbook to the Risk team at least three weeks in advance and get approval from the UBO (Uncanny Business Officer). supporting and respecting a Sharepoint form somewhere...

Don't tell me you haven't come across a few arseholes in your career, OP? 🤣

I was hoping to get it on the agenda for the SLT meeting, but I've just missed the meeting to agree the pre-agenda, and the next one isn't for another two weeks, and that's to get it on the August meeting agenda, and we all know Big Steve is off for August with his second family house in France.

I was going to submit a ticket to the anti-bureaucracy workdesk, but the intranet link isn't working.

In the meantime, whilst getting ready for her bath, the gymnastics-loving 9 year-old has invented (and I am not proud) The Naked Fartwheel.

Remember to document this 'Naked Fartwheel.' Once it makes the SLT agenda it will be necessary to ensure it is reproducible and repeatable.

As a woman working in Corporate Banking I doubt that you aren't hugely skilled in dealing with arseholes!

Stop underestimating yourself, you've got this!