Magic Mike Live - Bride really unhappy

[Vickersz]

I was given the task of organising my best friend’s hen. I, alongside our other friend, decided on Magic Mike Live. It’s very on theme for a hen and from what I have heard just a very silly dance show which gets people dancing and laughing (not at all seedy).

This will be the end of August. So great weather. We thought we’d go in a little tipsy (after bottomless brunch) and have a laugh as a group of girls (and a couple of gay guys). Finish with a dinner and some dancing. And Bob’s your uncle.

It’s all gone to shit.

Apparently the groom is not happy and thinks it’s a weird choice. He has told the bride he doesn’t want her to go. Everyone’s paid for the non-refundable tickets! There was a bbq last week and it was the main topic of conversation apparently. With all these weird theories as to why it was chosen. It’s not that deep!

My friend often attends bottomless brunch, dances on tables etc. And is no prude.

i genuinely feel ill! It’s being referred to as a strip show! The bride’s step mum and mum will be in attendance.

I really want to walk away from the whole thing.

I spoke to the bride and she is not happy at all

Did you read the thread? It IS the brides cup of tea. The groom is the one unhappy about it really.

Men visit strip clubs so what’s the difference? And they are naked…

Being common and tacky is not something I spend a lot of time worrying about. It’s a hen….thats kind of the point.

Oh so true!

The thought of organising a hen do, fills me with dread!

Maybe OP did get it wrong, but it comes from a place of trying to do good and she’s just left with a headache and lots of pointy fingers.

although the whole group booked, so 🤷‍♀️!

Straight men are less likely to go to lots of things - a Take That gig, Calamity Jane The Musical, ABBA Voyage, the ballet, bottomless brunch…the list goes on. Are you saying that women shouldn’t go because the menz aren’t interested?

Ooh here we go - frigid?

I thought only teen boys used that insult when they didn't get what they wanted!

Really poor choice here imo

It wouldn't be my thing at all, even if it wasn't seedy. Sorry I think you really needed to check first. I feel sorry for you because you were obviously trying to do a nice thing, but lesson learned. Can you move the date so people can still go and not lose their money but do something else for the hens? Also to add the bride should've made it clear stripper type activties were a no-go (or someone should've checked)

Magic Mike is just a male burlesque it's absolutely nothing like a strip club. Groom is being ridiculous.

You picked the wrong forum for this OP as MN is populated by the sort of people who loathe hen nights, group gatherings and anything else that isn’t sitting at home ‘relaxing’ in their pyjamas.

I’ve seen Magic Mike live, it’s great fun, more of a stage show than a strip club and perfect for a hen do. Think the groom sounds like a controlling twat and you’ve done nothing wrong. I’d be turning it back on him and asking her why he gets to dictate what she does.

FFS so many people spectacularly missing the point because they’re too busy hyperventilating over the type of entertainment planned. It’s completely irrelevant whether posters find the idea tacky/cringey/“common” (ffs) or whatever. OP who presumably knows her friend thought she’d enjoy it, and indeed everyone happily paid for tickets without objection.

But the groom, whose business it is absolutely not, told the bride she wasn’t allowed to go. Like she was a child and he gets to tell her what to do. And apparently everyone on here thinks this awful controlling behaviour is totally fine because the musical entertainment proposed is not to their taste. Really??

OP I’d be tempted to walk away too after all this. And not go to the wedding - I don’t give the marriage long anyway if that’s what he’s like.

Is it definitely the bride who isn’t happy as it sounds more like the groom and family aren’t? Would probably have been better to check with her beforehand but it’s done now. See if you can sell the tickets on if that’s what she wants but I don’t think it’s the huge error of judgement they are making it out to be.

Oh dear OP, didn't you realise that prim and proper MN looks down their noses at anything "tacky" or "grim" such as this. Even hen's nights in general, dancers or no dancers. No fun, please ladies, be proper. 🙄

Anyway, you've done nothing wrong. Of course it's a perfect hen's night activity.
Does the bride actually want to cancel it, or is it just the groom that's the problem? You're going to have to ask her if it's a no-go. Then ask all the attendees if they want to go anyway and change the date of the hen's, or, sell the tickets, but that might be challenging to sell so many.
How disappointing for you. Maybe she should organise her own bloody hen's night, approved by the ridiculous husband of course.

No, I'm saying that pretending it's not about perving over scantily clad men on stage is delusional.

No, frigid is a very popular term amongst anyone who knows what it means.

I wouldn’t be going if someone organised it for my hen, nor would I go if it was someone else’s. I bet you’d all have some choice words if the groom went to a strip club!

But are we sure it is?

I‘ve watched SATC (the series and the films) and still wouldn’t want my „hen night“ to be SATC themed. Let alone a SATC musical.

And even if this was simply down to the groom. Different couples have different boundaries. That isn’t necessarily wrong. Which is why OP and the bride should have talked about the hen plans in advance.

I'm team "frigid prune" all the way 🤣🤣 BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!

The point is the fiance is being controlling and a groomzilla and making demands and dictats to OP with no solves.

Also... People can like different things

Strips clubs are fully naked for a start

If someone had done this to me on my hen do I would have walked out. The poor bride.

I was in my 20s when I got married. Up for a laugh, love fun.

I absolutely did not want anything like that for my hen. My SIL (to be at the time) was furious because she was mad at BIL for getting a lap dance on his stag (he had three and DH had refused to go to this one knowing what they got like) and she wanted to use my hen as a way to "get her own back".

Not everyone likes that kinda thing. Doesn't make them not fun.

It is comparable though. Have you been to one of these shows? If my husband went to the women equivalent of this I’d divorce him

Grim. I wouldn’t go to someone else’s hen in this case, let alone my own. Besides just sounding awful, I’d hate my friends and family thinking I was the sort of person who requested this. 😂 Absolutely cancel and do something the bride actually wants to do. I hate hen dos but she’s already sensibly not going for 6 days in Ibiza, so do something sensible and nice.

Other people’s thresholds of whether they like the concept or not are irrelevant.

from what you’ve said about your friend, this is an activity that sounds in-keeping with what she enjoys (bottomless brunch/dancing on tables/actively watched the films).

the entire problem is that she is only unhappy about it because her fiancé is put out and has reacted in a way that is (personally) unacceptable.

Magic Mike and a strip club do not have parity, just to get that straight before anyone starts with “well how would she feel if he was going to a strip club”. The context, the clientele, all wildly different.

YANBU unreasonable to have booked it. You are probably going to have to have a 1:1 conversation with the bride, calmly and try and smooth it all over and make an alternative plan.