Magic Mike Live - Bride really unhappy

[Vickersz]

I was given the task of organising my best friend’s hen. I, alongside our other friend, decided on Magic Mike Live. It’s very on theme for a hen and from what I have heard just a very silly dance show which gets people dancing and laughing (not at all seedy).

This will be the end of August. So great weather. We thought we’d go in a little tipsy (after bottomless brunch) and have a laugh as a group of girls (and a couple of gay guys). Finish with a dinner and some dancing. And Bob’s your uncle.

It’s all gone to shit.

Apparently the groom is not happy and thinks it’s a weird choice. He has told the bride he doesn’t want her to go. Everyone’s paid for the non-refundable tickets! There was a bbq last week and it was the main topic of conversation apparently. With all these weird theories as to why it was chosen. It’s not that deep!

My friend often attends bottomless brunch, dances on tables etc. And is no prude.

i genuinely feel ill! It’s being referred to as a strip show! The bride’s step mum and mum will be in attendance.

I really want to walk away from the whole thing.

I spoke to the bride and she is not happy at all

If the bride wanted a Hen organised, even a surprise one, she should have said what kind of thing she wanted.
“Thanks for organising it @Vickersz , just a heads up I’d prefer a spa trip, night in London for food and drinks type vibe, don’t fancy anything like magic Mike, sky diving, or an overnight stay in the country” (or whatever)
I’m assuming you know the bride well enough to book something she would find fun, and whilst Magic Mike isn’t everyone’s idea of fun, the fact everyone else agreed to this I think shows that you were along the right lines in terms of what the Bride would do enjoy/find fun.

I went to the show in London. It was definitely more funny than I expect it should have been. No one strips off naked, it’s down to pants. There is a women compare who explains the show and gives a safe word, so if any of the men come near you to involve you, you say that and they move on. There was lots of screeching women there, laughing along.
I do think they aim for anyone with a birthday / bride to be sash because most Hen party’s who go here are up for some involvement. But it’s absolutely their choice.
A few of us went to watch it as we’d watched the films, laughed pretty much all the way through. Wasn’t involved with any of the act (we’d have all said no). I wouldn’t go again, but wasn’t offended by any of it.

It’s a shame this has happened OP, I can’t see how you got this spectacularly wrong if you know the bride well and everyone else agreed in the plan. It’s absolutely not everyone’s cup of tea (although have to say there are some talented dancers in the show) but it’s not like you went off and booked tickets without consulting anyone. Hard to consult the bride for a surprise hen do, and if anything was a hard no, she should have said. Hopefully you can get your money back.

Bloody hell- have the folk on here who (as usual when it comes to hen parties!) have their noses stuck in the air actually watched this musical??? It’s just talented male dancers… dancing!!! Sound great to me.

The hen party bought tickets, that’s signal enough in itself everybody was happy and the bride would ‘usually’ be ok with this.

The bride is not happy because her husband will not let her go to watch a musical at a bloody theatre without a fuss.

That’s the issue here, not the genre.

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong but to save face I would be open and honest on the group chat. Have a conversation with the bride about stepping away from planning, but you’d love to join in whatever she plans.

I’d suggest ringing the theatre to ask if you could move nights so those who had bought tickets could still go? If they can’t I’d ask the bride to consider changing her date.

Then she can go for a ‘meal and a few drinks’ mumsnet style!

i wouldn’t go either,.,
how common!

It does depend a bit on how the groom approached it. I know my dp would be “Are you sure? You do know she’ll hate it!” which would be fine. But if it was “I don’t want my fiancé going to anything like that!” it’s a bit different.

Is the groom planning on visiting a strip club?

Yes of course the groom shouldn’t dictate what his fiancée does. Similarly if the Best Man organises an outing to a pole dancing club, the fiancée should be absolutely fine with that.

But the question is, is he planning on seeing a stripper?

i would hate this myself but im pretty MC and so in MN generally which is annoyingly why you are getting split votes but that's not the point!!

what you have planned is totally fine / totally normal for many hens. You know your friend she likes the movies etc. None of 20 friends were like 🤮 I"m clutching my pearls at the thought of magic mike" they happily handed over cash.

He is overreacting and probably controlling/ possessive.
He is the problem and he is making problems.
I would not be fixing it for hin.

Sit down with him and her explain if he doesnt like it and "forbids it" - fine.
What does he want and how is he going to fix this?
Every person attending is now down £40 (or whatever) thats £800. Where is that money coming from? You are happy to give him the tickets to resell but no one should be out of pocket.
Youd also like an approved list of activities and venues - if he wants to vet and plan the whole day -fine by you.

Also to the poster upthread. Magic Mike is NOT the equivalent of a strip club no matter how hard i squint. The hen is not going to get a nude penis rubbed in her face or be offered sex services for cash by a magic mike dancer. 🙄
its maybe at a push equivalent to burlesque...?

Women’s sexuality is very different to mens! To compare Magic Mike with strip clubs is ridiculous!

I would personally hate it and be very upset if this was planned for my hen night. It sounds really tacky. Sorry!

It wouldn't be my choice but it sounds like the BF has the issue not necessarily the 'hen'

Do you know him? Can you chat to him?
He probably thinks Magic Mike is just like a seedy strip club when it sounds like it is more like a musical /dance routine. Are there advert clips you can show him - proving the vibe is more fun than salacious?

He said he didn’t see strippers… if that’s true who knows?

That’s down to heterosexual men surely? Why do women go to men’s strip
clubs? I went because I was interested in what went on. The men watching were all odd frankly. None of them looked like they were enjoying it.
As a previous poster said, nothing like women watching men dance, who all get very animated.

Also if you put a man and woman dancer in their stage outfits on the street, think about the reactions from the public. There’s a massive difference between male and female, like it or not.

This makes a big difference. The friend likes it; it doesn't matter what we think.

Let’s normalise Brides planning their own hen dos then we don’t have to deal with managing their expectations.

Not what the threads about, but ok.

Could you rebadge this as a pre-wedding get to know you for the guests (so bride has an “out” if she now doesn’t want to attend, but the tickets won’t go to waste) and plan something else for the hen?

Argghhhh come on people I know its early but
This isnt about if you think magic mike is tacky!?!

You do realise that men visit strip clubs and brothels all the time on stag dos? Literally naked dancing and grinding in their face making them hard, then an extra €50 for a handjob. You women are naive if you think this doesn’t happen.

The groom is the issue here. It’s a popular show in a theatre ffs. Does he think the bride will be dragged centre stage to lick whipped cream off someone’s knob?

I agree. If she's watched and enjoyed the films, it should have been a pretty safe call.

The fuss about it seems to have taken on a very strange momentum. It could be the partner, or it could be a wider family dynamic thing.

Noses stuck in there air or just against degrading behaviour (and I'm talking women degrading themselves, not the mem raking on the money over it).

I've gone along with many a shit and tacky thing I didn't really want to do because it was a hen do and didn't want to be 'difficult'.

'Musical'? Hardly Les Mis, is it?

It doesn’t matter if it is or isn’t seedy. The bride doesn’t want to go and it clearly isn’t her cup of tea. Did you talk about stripping (or “soft stripping”, if that’s a term you’ll accept) in advance?

And who cares if the bride has dances on tables? I’ve had some “wild” nights.

I still wouldn’t want magic mike or chippendales for my hen do. Which my MOH knows (because we’ve talked about prefernces, expectations etc.) Which is why my hen do will include some form of boozy brunch (I don’t know the specifics) but absolutely no stripping, burlesque or similar.

Groom sounds ridiculous. Agree with all previous posters who have said that anyone of the other 19 attendees could have said “hang on, should we consider something else?”
what a load of drama.