Magic Mike Live - Bride really unhappy

[Vickersz]

I was given the task of organising my best friend’s hen. I, alongside our other friend, decided on Magic Mike Live. It’s very on theme for a hen and from what I have heard just a very silly dance show which gets people dancing and laughing (not at all seedy).

This will be the end of August. So great weather. We thought we’d go in a little tipsy (after bottomless brunch) and have a laugh as a group of girls (and a couple of gay guys). Finish with a dinner and some dancing. And Bob’s your uncle.

It’s all gone to shit.

Apparently the groom is not happy and thinks it’s a weird choice. He has told the bride he doesn’t want her to go. Everyone’s paid for the non-refundable tickets! There was a bbq last week and it was the main topic of conversation apparently. With all these weird theories as to why it was chosen. It’s not that deep!

My friend often attends bottomless brunch, dances on tables etc. And is no prude.

i genuinely feel ill! It’s being referred to as a strip show! The bride’s step mum and mum will be in attendance.

I really want to walk away from the whole thing.

I spoke to the bride and she is not happy at all

@Vickersz you’re getting a hard time here and people are completely missing the point of the thread and classically want a pile on about how they wouldn’t want to go to magic Mike. It’s laughable. (The AIBU isn’t would you go to magic Mike live ! ) Many also haven’t even a clue what it is and are suggesting it’s like a brothel - which it is isn’t.

I’ve helped organise many a hen do and have also had a hen do myself. It’s a pain to organise. For those saying you should have asked the bride - these things are typically a surprise - that’s the whole point. Like you’ve said there were 20 other people including her Mum and the grooms Mum - all of whom co-signed it.

For those saying you shouldn’t have got non refundable tickets - these things usually are non refundable ! I’ve booked Dreamboys a few times and specifically remember it being non refundable.

issue here isn’t personal tastes on magic Mike live. Unless backstory is groom is a vicar or something this seems extreme and controlling. He can be upset and uncomfortable but to say her and all her friends can’t go? Is your friend (bride) unhappy because he isn’t happy or does she now not want to go either? If it were me I would speak to the bride and say unfortunately it’s non refundable tickets for 20 people. If she’s happy you can go back to the group and tell everyone she doesn’t want to go and they will lose their money - unless she / groom are willing to recompense people. After that I would ask her to choose what she would want to do and see if any other bridesmaid wants to take on the organisation. I would probably try and get some time aside with her and see if there’s any other such behaviour like this? People do sometimes go a bit mad with wedding planning etc so it could just be stress but could also be a massive red flag. Good luck

I think you should all go, it’s a great idea for a hen do even if its a bit tacky. But my question is does she really wants to marry the groom? He sounds like an insecure jerk!

OP, continue with trip for those who wish to go, after all the tickets are paid for.
Apologise to the Bride for it not working out, you had no idea you had to check with the Groom🙄.

Tell her you understand that its best someone else take over.
Who in Gods name would do a job like this.
It reads as consistently a complete PITA thankless job.

Me too.

I went on a hen do recently where we went to Magic Mike. I did not really want to go, but I did attend and went along with it. In the same way I would not really think it was great if a group of men went to a strip club on a stag do. It is objectifying and it is not really what I think we should be doing in 2025. However, each to their own.

I went to one of those a number of years ago and in addition to cute guys without shirts there was also (fake) jerking off and ejaculating on stage. So depending on your views, there will be a number of people who won’t enjoy this. That said, it was full of hen groups so I see why you’d think it was a good choice. Perhaps the bride would have liked it but was “forced” to disagree due to her fiancés’ comments. This is why hen plans are kept secret.

I wouldn't have an issue with Magic Mike Live at all. However, it's very much personal opinion and wouldn't have booked it, unless I'd had agreement from the Bride. I'd hate a drag show, that isn't my cup of tea at all, and if someone booked that for me, I'd be annoyed (in fact one of my bridesmaids did suggest it to the other, and thankfully she vettoed it!). You're not going to get refunds, so those who want to go and have paid will be going. If the Bride chooses not to go, that is her choice, but you'll have to organise something else for her instead, quite possibly another night.

I went to a hen do at Letters Live! once and many of the party were similar. Tickets were not refundable, so those who were too squeemish waited in a nearby Waterstones for us to finish up.

Just really laughed at this 😂

Not one person who knows the bride blocked this so it clearly suits her. It IS. weird and controlling. The groom needs to refund everyone if he wants to block this.

Omg 🤣🤣

That's what it comes down to.

Two options:

1. she doesn't want to go and doesn't want to tell you
2. she's about to marry a controlling arsehole

You need to find out which because if it's (2) then there are bigger issues than the hen

I am 31. How is that relevant?

I am not saying that it‘s generally inappropriate for every hen do. I am however saying that it is clearly not appropriate for this one.
Why? Because the bride doesn’t want to go.

Is it possible that she would want to go if she was getting married to a different man? Yes. But that is completely irrelevant. Seeing as she is getting married to this one.

As for those calling him reactionary or controlling: Is he truly? Or do they (they = this bride and this groom) simply have boundaries and limits in their relationship?
Their boundaries and limits don’t have to be our own to be valid.

Yeah massive red flag, what is he worried about…she isn’t getting a lap dance. It’s highly successful stage show.

controlling much

It really doesn’t sound like you could be arsed to think of anything individual and just went with ‘hen generic’ I’d hate it too. It’s just really meh and cliche.

not for me. Seedy

How unkind for someone making an effort!

Love this post! 😀

Gosh compare and contrast this thread with the husband in the spare room after stag thread

Wife putting husband in spare room: healthy boundaries

Husband saying no to wife at magic mike: controlling red flag

Interesting....

I think it sounds like you've organised a great hen do for your friend! Magic Mike is just a bit of fun, nothing like a strip club. The issue here is her insecure fiance.

I don't think the groom is being controlling. No, it's not the same as a strip club but would be in the same arena as a burlesque show or can-can dancers at the moulin rouge for a stag do and I don't think it would be controlling for a bride to not be happy about that.

My DIL has a best friend who was due to get married but called it off a couple of months before . They had already booked Magic Mike so went as a non-hen-hen-party. The dancers were told that she had called off her wedding. She ended up having sex with one of them. She seemed happy about it so I guess that's fine but, to me, as a far older woman, it felt a bit manipulative and grim.

I mean it is strippers. I don’t care about my partner watching strippers but a lot of people. In fact going by the posts here I would say a majority.

You should have checked beforehand

This!!