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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Strange behaviour with child maintenance payments

7 replies

HelloHelloHelpNeeded · 30/05/2025 17:51

We have a two-year-old child and since I left my ex last year, he has been paying mutually agreed maintenance payments monthly, however he has changed the amount multiple times without warning, withheld payments and generally used it as a means of controlling me. He is very controlling, this is just one example of it (I have previously posted about this here). I had hoped it would get better with space (I have just moved away to another part of the UK) but it hasn't. Today something strange happened, does this sound bizarre to you?

Just now I opened a Special Delivery letter he sent me with 4 cheques inside (previously he'd paid by bank transfer monthly). All postdated for a weekly amount. With no note, no explanation, nothing. Also, when you add the weekly amounts up it's well over £100 less than the agreed monthly amount.

This is bizarre behaviour, right?

What should I do now? I don't think there is any point me trying to get him to explain. Should I just now go through the CMS? He's proven many times that he can not be relied on. Any advice would be so great. Thank you!

OP posts:
Vgbeat · 30/05/2025 17:54

I would just do it through them cms as then you don't have to contact him about it and he will lose the control.

Stopitbella · 30/05/2025 17:56

Life is too short for bullshit like this.

Go through CMS. I hate these men who use maintenance as control.

Theunamedcat · 30/05/2025 18:01

Cms and when he messes them about they will deduct his earnings for 12 months but you must report him everytime I didn't and lost money because I didn't realise you needed to tell them as soon as he misses a payment and they take action

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 30/05/2025 18:12

Unless he's self-employed, go through CMS.

HelloHelloHelpNeeded · 30/05/2025 19:29

He's not self-employed, he earns a good salary.
I'm so sick of this, I am currently filling in the CMS form right now!
Thanks for your advice all

OP posts:
dddilemma · 30/05/2025 19:35

Sounds like he's found another way to be a twat. CMS is so much better. No hassle/drama & if he's employed, then consistency. If he doesn't pay, they can arrest his wages, costs him an extra 20% on top of his payments if it goes to that. Happened to me ... First payment in 3 days 🤣

ZebraPrintt · 30/05/2025 20:37

Go through CMS. He'll pay the same amount every month and there'll be no messing about. No idea why hed send checks that's really weird

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