A friend of mine has shared with me that she's drinking a bottle of rosé a night and that she's now switched to boxes of it because a) it's cheaper and b) she won't look like an alcoholic when they put the glass recycling box out.
She has two children. The oldest has been diagnosed with ADHD. He's a sweet little boy but very hyperactive. I used to be a SENCO and have helped my friend with some sensory and decompression approaches to help him relax.
The problem is her husband. He's always been rude, barely says hello, works all day from home and goes out for a bike ride every lunchtime whilst my friend is up to her eyeballs with housework, food prep, school admin and looking after her little boy and younger sibling. She makes him a sandwich for lunch which he's now come to expect. If the sandwich isn't there, he moans at her.
The worst part is how he shouts and loses his temper with this little boy. At times, it's left me feeling deeply uncomfortable. I grew up in a violent household and it's got to the stage where I don't want to be anywhere near this husband because of his behaviour.
I know this little boy has ADHD and he can't control his impulsivity. They are on the waiting list for medication, it's taking months. But knowing ADHD is legally classed as a disability, I'm angry that this man thinks it's okay to shout and lose his temper.
If his child was in a wheelchair or non-verbal, would he still lose his temper?
I think this is why my friend is drinking so much. I can tell that she doesn't want to discuss her predicament and would rather stick her fingers in her ears but her little boy is acting out even more as a result of being shouted at and he screams and cries and punches his dad. To be honest, I'd like to punch this husband too.
How do I remain a supportive friend when quite frankly, I feel completely helpless.