Would you be annoyed if a relative bought a house 3 doors down from you without telling you?

[Housequery1]

That’s it really, you bought anew house and a few months later a relative buys a house a few doors down, without saying a word. Would you be annoyed? Or would it even bother you?

If it is your hometown then absolutely no need to tell them until offer has been accepted then I would probably mention it

If it was my mum, my brother, or my gran I would be over the moon, I moved away (for financial reasons) 7 years ago and have been trying to convince my mum to follow me since but she won't! I would happily live next door to any of them

My cousins, aunties etc, or my FIL would be a different matter however, FiL did follow us up but luckily 20 minutes away so he's not round too often!

I guess it’s less about asking their permission and more about letting them know. I think they would be very unreasonable to say “you can’t”, and at that point you’d be well within your rights to just ignore and crack on! However, if you don’t say anything at all, it just comes off a bit strange to be honest!

Yes this sound perfect! I shall do something like this! ☺️🙌 thank you

To be fair I would too…🤣🤣

Well you are massively unreasonable doing a reverse but that aside I don’t know why you wouldn’t mention that you had seen a house for sale in their street

As long as you are not expecting to live in each others pockets then for most people in my family I would not have an issue. And for the two people I would have an issue with I would just ignore them.

Well the fact they didn’t tell you probably means they don’t want to be living in your pockets. More they just liked the house/ area. So for an aunt/ cousin it wouldn’t bother me. Unless literally next door!

I'd wonder why they hadn't had the courtesy to tell me at a much earlier stage. That alone suggests there's a bit of an awkward dynamic which needs some effort to stop it getting more awkward. Unfortunately I think the onus may be on you to make the first move.

I voted YANBU thinking you were the unaware relative. 🙄

I'd not be happy to have any relative move this close by tbh.

But it does depend on dynamics and personalities. Particularly around personal boundaries.

It’s a new housing estate every single house on the street is/was for sale

I mean I would be more surprised they had not let me know they had moved to the UK..

For dhs side they are not close so I would expect they didnt realise we lived that close. SIL would 100% let us know.

Having seen your latest update then the onus is on you OP to tell your relative as soon as appropriate. I would say this is when you are seriously looking in the area. If you don't usually speak to this relative outside family events then can you get a message to them via other family members.

Sorry about the reverse I didn’t realise that’s what I was even doing to be honest I thought it sounded like I was just asking a question. I’m very tired.🤣

I think the relationship you have is besides the point. Why didn't they tell you? That's what would piss me off. Either yous are amicable but not super close, in that case they could have sent a quick message to let you know. Or yous are super close and that makes it worse, why the secrecy? Or yous hate each other, so then why would they buy a house so close? I would be baffled at not being told

I already live in the area, just outside of the town I have decided to move back into the town. But there’s literally only a five minute difference in where we are now to where we will be.

@dontcomeatme sorry I have to clarify because I posted this as a “reverse” unknowingly. Every day is a school day. 🤣

I am the one moving, our relationship is fine. We are very much amicable, we have been closer. This is probably a stage in our life where we’ve been not as close,not for any particular reason as such just that life and families have taken over. Who knows it might bring us a bit closer again. But we’re all super busy I suppose.

OK - looking on this particular estate then. I still think it's weird not to say anything.

Though that could be the same for DH/DP!

I can see what you mean, but I just don’t want everybody knowing my business until it’s done. There’s nothing worse than telling people you’ve bought a house for everything to fall apart and then have to tell everybody that you haven’t got the house. If I was to tell her then she would more than likely tell her sisters and then they would probably tell other family members 🤣news spreads like wild fire. I just don’t wanna jinx things because I really love the house

A relative suddenly appearing 3 doors down might phase me if it was a complete surprise, because I'd wonder why they hadn't said anything. You have every right to buy that house, as you and they must know, and don't need anyone's permission, but it would be polite to let them know. I'd send them a message now saying that you've made an offer and hope it goes through because it's a lovely road and you've heard the neighbours are nice, or some such quip. Perhaps they will be pleasantly surprised and welcome you to their road. If they don't reply, you don't need to do anything else except say hello if you bump into them.

The thing is that the only person who would do that without telling you about it would be someone with no social graces whatsoever.

My cousins and aunts probably don’t even know my address, they probably just know which city I live in. So I wouldn’t expect them to consult me if they were moving to the same city.

Does the relative definitely know you live on that road? Or could it be a coincidence?

Wouldn’t particularly bother me either way, you really don’t need to interact with someone who lives several doors away, do you?

I think it's a bit weird to not say anything. I bought a house on the same street as a friend and told her we were thinking of buying as soon as we looked at the house. Recently a workmate put in an offer on a house on the same street and he mentioned it to me as soon as he'd looked at the house.

If you haven’t seen them since you’ve been going through the purchase then I understand you not telling them, it’s not something I’d go out of my way to do if not close. However at the next family event I would mention you are buying on X estate where they live, and keep it brief, no expectation of them or you. And carry on life as normal