Would you be annoyed if a relative bought a house 3 doors down from you without telling you?

[Housequery1]

That’s it really, you bought anew house and a few months later a relative buys a house a few doors down, without saying a word. Would you be annoyed? Or would it even bother you?

I’d probably drop them a message. And ask if there’s any problem neighbours!

No, why would I? My relatives don't need to tell me where they are planning to buy a house. Honestly, MN is like a parallel universe sometimes, I've never encountered the weird things which set people off in real life.

A close relative, yes I'd be annoyed. An aunt or cousin etc, not so much.

You sound like you think you have more 'right' to live there than they do. That's a bit odd too tbh.

As I’ve said there, you didn’t say that in your OP, though, did you? You’ve posted from the perspective of the person who already lives there…

I just think there’s no point in saying anything until I have the mortgage offer made otherwise let’s just saying it for no reason. And then, of course once the offer was made well then I can go ahead with the purchase so I kind of don’t know when to say it. 😅

Yes, I posted that way so that you would give me your thoughts on How would you feel? I didn’t mean for it to be like a reverse. It’s just how I was thinking around it.

No, that’s not what I mean at all. Everyone has a right to live wherever they want. I’m just trying to tell people that I don’t need to ask about the area because I’m not moving from another town or another county as such. I know the area very well because I grew up there.

I’d find it very weird they didn’t tell me - why on earth didn’t you? It’s courteous to give them some time to get used to it.

There’s no reason you shouldn’t buy the house, but as you don’t sound very close, they might find it a bit strange to have someone they feel a degree of obligation to right next door. Lots of people like a bit of space between different parts of their lives , so it may feel a bit invasive.

They will (have to) get used to it, but your social cluelessness hasn’t been a great way to kick off, so try and improve on that going forward.

It’s a brand-new Estate so they’re probably not going to know about problem neighbours 😆

Right, it just sounded a little as though you were suggesting I should have known this already. 😂 Quite honestly, I do think it’s a tad odd, yes. I would mention it myself ahead of putting in an offer. You’ll know what your relationship is like more than any of us, though, which will no doubt make a difference.

Someone up thread suggested a quick message to ask about neighbours, that may be the way to do it 'casually' without making a big thing of it?

But what do I tell them? That I’m in the process of buying the house because that’s what’s happening. And then if something happens and I don’t get the house, it’s just so much communication for nothing and I don’t like people knowing my business until it’s done I suppose.

There’s not that many neighbours the house attached to mine doesn’t have people in it yet either. It’s sold, but they’re not moved in. It’s not finished. 🤣

This. The secrecy is definitely suffocating

You can say ‘hey we may be neighbours soon’ . If they say how come tell them it depends on a few things but you’re considering buying down the road. Shouldn’t be a big deal.

This thread is so very clearly a reverse.

You can say ‘hey we may be neighbours soon’ . If they say how come tell them it depends on a few things but you’re considering buying down the road. Shouldn’t be a big deal.

And now I’m thinking, but what if I had said we’re going to put an offer on the house and she said I don’t want you to live a few doors down from me? I love the house. I want the house. I need to move. I would be devastated to be honest. I wouldn’t want them to construed as me asking permission.

No, I wouldn't be annoyed. People can buy whichever property they like. You should consider WHY you are annoyed at the concept of them moving closer to you and issues relating to your relationship with them rather than the concept of them moving closer as a whole. YABU.

But that’s what got me thinking “what if it is a big deal?” 🤣 oh god now I don’t know what to say. Also, nothing in my family is sacred so if I tell her then literally everybody in my family will know. And that’s what I don’t want. It’s my business.

Good point. 😂 I'm not really sure actually and can understand your predicament! I think when it's all settled I'd probably send a quick message to say 'just to let you know that we'll be almost neighbours soon but don't worry, I won't be popping in every two minutes to borrow a cup of sugar'. Followed by pathetic smiley emojis because I'm really shit at this kind of thing myself, so you should probably ignore me ...

Have they been to your house, or do they know where you live? I wouldn't have a clue where anyone but my parents live.

so according to Mum that this is some sort of a reverse post. I didn’t mean for it to be like that!? Sorry, I am the one moving

That’s a strangely aggressive response, when I gave you a straight answer to the question you asked

It’s not about who owns the space. Nobody is saying you don’t have the legal right to do this. We are saying that it’s a weird way to behave, and not very considerate or respectful of your relatives. It sounds as though you don’t much care about that though, so I wonder why you bothered to ask 🤷🏻‍♀️