Would you be annoyed if a relative bought a house 3 doors down from you without telling you?

[Housequery1]

That’s it really, you bought anew house and a few months later a relative buys a house a few doors down, without saying a word. Would you be annoyed? Or would it even bother you?

No, because I cannot control what others do, and also, it isn’t my business what others spend their money on.

Depends if I get on with them and if we have the same idea about how much or little time to spend with each other

I think you are overthinking it. If it was a mum/mil yes it would be strange. If it was a bro/sis I would expect to be told before they put in for it (not asked, told). Cousin/aunt etc unless especially close I would expect to be told when it’s done in a casual way.
My niece actually moved a stone throw from me for a while (she didn’t move again because of me lol 😂). I loved it. Neither of us were the type to invade eachothers space though.

I get the not wanting people to know your business. This would be my big issue if I was the relative. My life isn’t exciting but I just wouldn't family moving in three doors down noticing whether I have a Tesco or Waitrose delivery, who I chat to on the street, what my kids are doing when they play out, whether I had a bad night and looked like a slob walking to the shop this morning.

So hopefully not going to be a problem?

I think as pp have said, it’s very dependent on who. My dm, I’d emigrate, my aunt/one of my cousins, fine. They could treat my house as an extension of theirs, would be fine.

Depends very much on which relative it was! If it was one of my 2 brothers,I wouldn't mind,if it was the other one,I certainly would! And if I found that my ex SIL had moved there,I would be well pissed off! But I'd love it if my DD moved in 3 doors down,but I know she wouldn't do that without mentioning it!

I’d be a bit annoyed. Would you ask them casually why the bought the house without mentioning it to you?

My mum - yes. She's getting on and I'd like to have her close. My step-sister? Absolutely not!

Did you tell them when you were buying?.

Do you think they gave it much thought or is there an ulterior motive ie looking for a babysitter?

Haven't read the full thread or the OP updates, but not mentioning it feels super weird regardless of the relationship you have.

I probably say once we have put in an offer or had a 2nd viewing, I would probably text them to say or If you have a good relationship I would give them a knock after we had viewed. It could be the start of a better friendship/ relationship with them, but I come from the Welsh Valleys and you sometimes have whole extended families living in one street.😂

Yep. Happened to me. Family member could see my house and would drive us nuts saying ‘I know you’re in could you …’ etc

Yes that would be annoying. I would rather know sooner rather than later OP.

You don’t ask permission but you should give them a heads up. Do it once you have the mortgage offer.
“Hey cuz, as you know we’ve been looking to move house for a wee while now and we’re seriously considering X street so we’ll be neighbours.
I can’t imagine we’ll see much of each other as we’re both so busy with work and DC but I wanted to let you know before we bumped into each other in the street.
If you can keep this to yourself just now until we know for certain we’re moving that would be great. I haven’t really discussed it with family yet. And of course you’re always welcome to borrow a cup of sugar!”
Keeps it light and breezy. Informative without giving them an opportunity to object. Set’s expectations about privacy and is a friendly courtesy.

I wouldn't like it but I know many people who would want their close family nearby.
My family are better a little further away.

Sorry if I’ve missed it, but if it’s an estate of new builds then she can’t have lived there long? I think it makes a difference as it’s not really her “turf” if she’s not long moved in herself…

I think it's weird not to mention it, for sure!

No she’s only there a month or so

No. Why should they have told you? It is nobodies business where they buy a house period.

I’m the one buying. I asked it in a reverse way unintentionally. Sorry. I was originally thinking along the same lines as you. But then as I said upthread I had a fleeting thought of “what if she did mind?!” 😬 so that’s why I asked.

im adamant im not saying anything until i know the house is mine, the mortgage application is in motion so it’ll be another few weeks before i know for sure. I’ll tell her then.

Hi cousin, hope you're all well. I've been house hunting and found the perfect place for us, coincidentally on your street. I'll let you know if we end up buying it. Hopefully paperwork won't take too long and we can move soon. Look forward to seeing you soon. xxx

I think it’s rude of the relative. It doesn’t set the neighbourly relationship off to a great start, but hopefully you can move past that.

This would not be my business to be annoyed, it’s probably a nice place to live, and your house didn’t factor into their decision, so why would they tell you? They probably didn’t want you to feel any pressure to help or be neighborly.

I am the relative moving and yes this was my thinking initially. I just had a fleeting thought , so asked the question. Lots of others on here seem to think otherwise though, it’s a very divided opinion isn’t it?!

Would depend who it was, but I’m not in a position to move for the foreseeable future so it could be tough. 😬

Edited to say that it’s weird not to tell them first though.