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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you be annoyed if a relative bought a house 3 doors down from you without telling you?

303 replies

Housequery1 · 19/05/2025 21:59

That’s it really, you bought anew house and a few months later a relative buys a house a few doors down, without saying a word. Would you be annoyed? Or would it even bother you?

OP posts:
Away2000 · 21/05/2025 20:25

If it wasn’t a close family member then I don’t see why it’s an issue. If I was moving close to my siblings then I’d tell them beforehand. A random relative that I don’t see much then I wouldn’t even think to tell them. Also if they already live in the same area then it’s hardly unusual. If they had no connection to the area and lived miles away and then suddenly bought a house in the same road then it would be weird.

MyPeppyTurtle · 21/05/2025 20:25

I'd be fine with it, as long as it wasn't my MIL, SIL or my father......

Bernardo1 · 21/05/2025 20:28

Yes, I think so.
As I believe you are the relative, it is only good manners and etiquette to inform them of your intentions.

Ladymeade · 21/05/2025 20:32

MusicalDoc · 19/05/2025 21:59

Depends on who it is. If it was my mum or MIL I’d be pissed as hell.

Haha! Same - especially the MIL..

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 21/05/2025 20:32

spanishcheese · 21/05/2025 20:02

Hi cousin, hope you're all well. I've been house hunting and found the perfect place for us, coincidentally on your street. I'll let you know if we end up buying it. Hopefully paperwork won't take too long and we can move soon. Look forward to seeing you soon. xxx

Yes, I think that’s the way I’d go if I were you.

Maybethisallthereis · 21/05/2025 20:35

I’d expect to be told… it’s courtesy surely!

Cousin/aunty wouldn’t bother me as you could still be polite but not live in each others pockets. Mother or mother in law.. I’d move!

Housequery1 · 21/05/2025 20:57

Maybethisallthereis · 21/05/2025 20:35

I’d expect to be told… it’s courtesy surely!

Cousin/aunty wouldn’t bother me as you could still be polite but not live in each others pockets. Mother or mother in law.. I’d move!

Expect to be told when though? On viewing? On waiting for mortgage or once mortgage is approved. “Expect” is a very strong word i feel.

OP posts:
Isabellivi · 21/05/2025 20:58

Honestly mumsnetters are, generally, very irritable and quick to offense. I am shocked by their horrible advice r and would never ask their opinion on anything …. Depending on how close you are you could mention it casually. It really depends on your eelationshop. My cousins are like siblings but I also have distant cousins I barely know but I probably would mention it to them.

auderesperare · 21/05/2025 21:02

Housequery1 · 21/05/2025 20:57

Expect to be told when though? On viewing? On waiting for mortgage or once mortgage is approved. “Expect” is a very strong word i feel.

I think you might be overthinking this, OP. It’s just a nice common courtesy that I’m sure will be appreciated. It’s just a bit odd if you have a close friend or relative moving three doors down and they don’t mention it. If you’re certain you’ll be moving in, tell them when you’ve had the offer accepted.
what do you worry could go wrong? You’re not asking permission.

Missj25 · 21/05/2025 21:13

Housequery1 · 19/05/2025 21:59

That’s it really, you bought anew house and a few months later a relative buys a house a few doors down, without saying a word. Would you be annoyed? Or would it even bother you?

Depends
Like is this relative someone you are close to ?
If yes , that’s so weird !
If no then , I wouldn’t care 🤷🏻‍♀️

winnieanddaisy · 21/05/2025 21:19

We lived next door to my husbands brother and sister in law for 16 years . It was great and we had lots of Christmas dinners together ( up to 15 people) and also parties . I moved after my husband died . I get on well with my whole family so it wouldn’t bother me if any of them move into our street .

miss79guided · 21/05/2025 22:04

Housequery1 · 19/05/2025 21:59

That’s it really, you bought anew house and a few months later a relative buys a house a few doors down, without saying a word. Would you be annoyed? Or would it even bother you?

So what IF a relative bought a house, 3 doors down WITHOUT telling you .
Why GET annoyed - what WILL be annoyed get you ?
> DON`T get annoyed, get BETTER - Direct competition.

Get the flower box boxes

Start the planting ...
Let the battle commence

Kelly1969 · 21/05/2025 22:05

Housequery1 · 21/05/2025 18:49

Context is - I am the relative 🤣 and no, we don’t have an issue with each other at all. And yes, it’s a very nice house with very nice price. And I absolutely love it.

Ahh okay!
No reason for it to be an issue then, but I would mention soon rather than later, just out of kinda courtesy?
Apart from my immediate neighbour whose drive is next to mine I rarely see anyone in my road!

Noononoo · 21/05/2025 22:10

It’s weird isn’t it, I don’t think you need ask permission, as it were, but not to say anything is also bit odd. I should think they should be flattered. I would be, if friends or relatives moved in a couple of doors from me. So I don’t quite understand people’s negative reactions. Perhaps just haven’t got a very good imagination. None of my relations are at all like me so it is a bit of bizarre thought.

MarchingOnTogether · 21/05/2025 22:10

I bought a house on the same street as my sister 😂
We'd originally found something else we wanted to buy but we missed out. Then this one came up, luckily my sister loved the idea and she viewed it with me.
A year later our dad died (mum died 6 years before him) so now we literally have each other and our kids and its nice we are so close x

Nextdoormat · 21/05/2025 22:29

I live within a 2 min walk of sister, 2 brothers, 2 nieces, nephew and 6 great nieces and nephews.5 mins from another sister and daughter. None of whom live in same house! They all seem to know what I am doing before I have even done it😂. I don't mind, never a dull moment.

hangingonfordearlife1 · 21/05/2025 22:30

if it was my mom or mother in law i would love it! kids would love it. lots of free food too haha

Hopingtobeaparent · 21/05/2025 22:37

soupforbrains · 19/05/2025 22:03

So much of this entirely depends on the specifics of the relationship that it’s really impossible to say. But if them literally moving in was the first you heard about it then that’s weird.

Yep. This. Weird. And would just depend. So, do you like them? Is it good?

Maybe they were going with the ‘surprise!’ Approach. Did they defo know you lived there?!

kennycat · 21/05/2025 22:49

this happened to my friend (maybe you are indeed she!) . her SIL moved in a few doors down. SIL and my friend’s husband (SIL’s bro) don’t even get on!! like not at all.
why would she move there?? people are so weird.

Stolengnome · 21/05/2025 22:55

We bought our house (semi) three years ago, nipped round to introduce ourselves to the neighbours and get the spare set of keys back they'd no longer need (previous owner elderly, they kept an eye on her as she had dementia) and my cousin who I'd not seen for years answered the door! We love it, plots are big so we're not under eachothers feet, but we know we've got family next door should we need them.
I appreciate this is an ideal scenario, just grateful we get on! Had it have been any other cousin bar a select few, we'd have been gutted 😂

NorfenBonhomie · 21/05/2025 23:35

Have you made sound investment choices in the past? That they want to emulate? It must be a compliment surely? Maybe they didn't tell you because they fear rejection? Or thought it would be a wonderful surprise? I'm going with my first thought. You've made a mint buying and selling houses in the past and they want in on the action.

FancyHelper · 21/05/2025 23:41

I would love it, but then I love my family so being close together would be fab for me

tartancarpetslippers · 22/05/2025 01:18

Housequery1 · 21/05/2025 20:57

Expect to be told when though? On viewing? On waiting for mortgage or once mortgage is approved. “Expect” is a very strong word i feel.

On viewing.

Gherkinslice · 22/05/2025 06:44

Housequery1 · 19/05/2025 21:59

That’s it really, you bought anew house and a few months later a relative buys a house a few doors down, without saying a word. Would you be annoyed? Or would it even bother you?

Well at least they won't be wanting any help moving in will they?? In.fact if you know when, I'd be away for a few nights!!

BeJollyEagle · 22/05/2025 07:32

Would not care one bit. Doubt any relative would care if I moved next to them. Some very odd comments on here 👀

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