Would you be annoyed if a relative bought a house 3 doors down from you without telling you?

[Housequery1]

That’s it really, you bought anew house and a few months later a relative buys a house a few doors down, without saying a word. Would you be annoyed? Or would it even bother you?

You just say ‘I’ve put an offer in on number xx, will let you know how it goes’ as a starting point

Depends on the type of family member they are.

If they’re the ones who like to come over unannounced, yes.

The rude ones who likes to ask questions that are frankly none of their business and make comments about my looks, yes.

Saying that, nothing I can really do about it other than be polite and always busy.

The ones I do know that could purchase a home in our area are the ones I get along with.

I mean we don’t call over unannounced to each other but we used to hang out together quite a bit when the dc were small

My dear friend had a child free wedding. She lost contact with some of her family as a result. I know she regretted it as soon as she had children herself. Personally I think it’s lovely to watch children at a wedding. All ages enjoying themselves together.

Apologies. Wrong thread and no specs!

I built a house 3 doors away from my parents , it was great while my children were little

Agree. Although saying that, I'd be happy living near 99% of my relatives, so if I was in your precise situation I would be a) surprised and a little nervous about why they had not decided to share, and b) be pleased to have them close by for casual socialising or mutual favours.

I would tell them exactly that TBH. I think you are overthinking the comms if it falls through - just text 'Sadly it didn't work out, so we won't be neighbours after all 😕' or something.

If they start planning loads of things for when you've moved in, just say you've told them because if it was you then you'd like to know, but that you'd prefer to not discuss anything beyond that until things are finalised.

OP, obviously you don’t need permission, but if you were genuinely comfortable with what you’re doing, then you wouldn’t be posting here, for opinions.

Personally I think moving so close to relatives is a questionable thing to do, whether you pre-warn them or not. Let’s face is, even if you give them a few months notice, it’s not going to change the outcome. Your presence, even if you mean no intrusion, could spoil their enjoyment of their home.

Yeah I think one the mortgage offer is there and I know for sure I’ll pop her a message. Because I’ll be telling others then too ( like my brother etc) thank you

@Springtime43 i don’t feel uncomfortable about it at all, as I’ve said it’s my hometown, I live here still right now anyway so it’s not a HUGE move. I just wondered if she would mind and decide to ask here for opinions

I’d love it if any family member moved close to me - I get on with all my relatives though so even if it was one I saw rarely I’d be happy surprised not annoyed surprised.

All of DH’s relatives live within about half a mile - one is next door on one side, and another is two doors up on the other side 🤣

I can’t say I even notice most days.

I’d find it a bit bizarre it not being mentioned but beyond that I guess it depends on if you get along ok.

At one point myself, my mum and both my sisters all lived a few doors away from each other, I quite miss it, it was convenient. We hardly see each other now we all live in different places.

I was pissed that relatives of a woman at work moved in! Year after, my hairdresser did as well. I don't do neighbours and feel watched haha

This happened to me. We moved asap at huge financial cost because 2008 and it took years to stabilise and buy again. Fuckers.

Wouldn’t remotely bother me. Why would it?

My MIL did exactly this!

As others have said, it would depend on the relationship. I think I would tackle them by saying, “You should have told me when you were viewing and could have popped in for a cuppa after.” If it was my cousin, I’d have been delighted, although I might have wondered why she hadn’t said anything. Is the relative alone? If in a relationship may have been told not to say anything by their partner.

Depends on timing, if you'd seen them at a family do fairly recently it would be odd for them not to mention it, but you don't sound close, so doesn't feel like they'd think they should tell you. Plus if they were anticipating a negative reaction they'd definitely not tell you.

As a general rule, I would not wish to live that close to a relative.

i wound care at all that doesnt mean you have to see each other daily ... we are all busy ...but instead see the positives ... that little milk you could need when shops are closed or a parcel delivered ... that could come handy ....

They really should have said something. I agree with the others that it depends on your relationship with them, but certainly not a good start for them to keep quiet. Best wishes to you.

Firstly I ticked YABU in error. Apologies.
Surely it would only be a matter of courtesy to tell you firstly “they’ve been to view” , secondly “ask your opinion on the builder” and thirdly “tell you they’re going to purchase”. The fact they’ve kept quiet shows they know they are being deceitful.

On a basic level, what does their choice of home is any of your business?
On a deeper level though, there's a lot going on here that we don't know about.
OP are you annoyed because you don't want to live that close or because you do?

Suffocating and weird

Embarrassed? Why?