18 years and still gives me the ick

[PeonyPip]

Me and DH will have been married 18 years this year. If we haven’t had sex for a while he will send me a text with explicit detail of what he’d like to do or detail an erotic dream he’s had.

I hate it. It has the opposite effect on me and find it totally ick. In the early years I think I just went along with it because I hadn’t had much experience and thought I was the weird one. Now I think it’s gone so far, if I tell him he’ll take total offence that he’s been giving me the ick for all these years. He’ll probably think I’m a prude and he’s ‘normal’. AIBU to carry on ignoring the messages and just brushing them off or should I come clean?

So you’ve never told him in 18 YEARS? At what point did you expect him to become a mind reader? Guessing the relationship is not going well here?

Definitely talk to him about it. Yanbu.

So for 18years he's been sending these messages and they've in no way influenced you into having sex with him? Well then he knows you aren't into them but he doesn't care. He gets off on sending them and that's what matters to him. I mean, how does that make you feel about him in general?

If you failed to tell him the first time, he wouldn't know to stop. And it sounds like you have different sexual needs, maybe talk with your dh about that rather than mumsneters

“I don’t like your sex texts, stop doing them”

Tell him they give you the ick now.
You don't have to say it's been for 18 years of you think he'll get offended.

However, when you say offended, are you concerned how he'll take it for his feelings or how he'll react to you?

There's one thing not wanting to upset him because you love him but it's another if it's to protect yourself.
And if you need to protect yourself then these texts are not your main issue.