To buy a stunt pineapple..

[Easterbunnygettingsorted]

For my ndn.
Elderly man died in November.. Same week we moved in. Never actually saw him.
He owns a huge mahoosive and loud ddog..
Which the family took away and by the looks of it struggle to manage him.
As in struggle to manage to get it to stfu.
They are obviously clearing and cleaning the house to sell. (fingers crossed)
They bring Brutus (nc so not to bark- shame the twat)

Shall I buy them a pineapple to help things along?
Possibly bake some bread and hope the smell filters through?
My head can't take it any longer..
Proved today the woman there (dd /dsis?) was cleaning the sills as it threw itself against the glass trying to eat me. She didn't flinch. Didn't move it or acknowledge it's behaviour is ott...
What thing do you want to assist with irl but sadly can't?
Have a car towed?
Cut a lawn in a jungle garden?
Rehome a ndn's ddog /dcat /dc?
Remove vocal cords from a singing ndn?
Post your vents here....

I'm not sure what's going on here.

Are pineapples lethal for dogs? Are stunt pineapples extra agile? I am so confused.

I am also confused. My dog is a yappy fucker at times. Is a stunt pineapple the answer?

🤨

So you've moved in & in the same week NDN passed away.
You never met each other.
NDN who's now passed owned a barky, big dog.
Dog now lived with family but family are clearing the house, possibly for sale & being the dog back to the house while cleaning / clearing.

This makes you want to bake bread that NDN family can smell and / or buy a pineapple (possibly one that can do stunts (?)).

I am so confused.

Is it me?
I want to chuckle along with this but i don't know what you're on about OP 😳

I think she means that these things will help the house to sell.
There's no guarantee that the new neighbours won't have a barky dog and they won't be coming and going , they will be there permanently. Be careful what you wish for.

What’s a stunt pineapple?

Haven’t actually got a clue what the post was about, apart from an elderly man died, op moved in next door, relatives are clearing the house (I think) and old man and now relatives have a dog called Brutus (not real name).

What sort of stunts can these pineapples do? Can they jump 13 buses on a motorbike?

A few years ago, a Mumsnetter whose house was for sale, said that she had a stunt pineapple in her fruit bowl - a piece of fruit for display purposes, not for eating. Every time I see a pineapple, this thought flitters between my ears.

I dont know what youre on OP but I want some.

I think the stunt pineapple is to aid in the hopefully speedy sale of the house.

I have no idea what a stunt pineapple is. But it reminds me of when my dog was a puppy. We'd had him for months and he'd never, ever barked. It was like he didn't know how.

One day, I heard one short, sharp, very grown up sounding bark coming from the kitchen. I thought another dog had broken in, because of course, my dog didn't bark. And he was too small and cute for the big deep bark I heard.

I walked in there, to see puppy with his head cocked on one side, confused, staring at the satsuma that he'd somehow stolen from the fruit bowl that was high up. He'd tried to play with it, bitten it, and the citrus squirting back at him had shocked him into his first ever bark.

Was it a stunt satsuma? Or a reverse stunt satsuma (as it caused barking, not stopped it).

So the dog is only there when they're cleaning the house? And doesn't live there now?

Hardy a big deal then.

Dunno what the pineapple thing is. I'm lost.

If you have a pineapple in your house, someone will buy it (the house, not the pineapple)? I’ve never bought or sold a house that had a pineapple as part of it🤷‍♀️.

I Googled in the hope of this becoming clear but could only find a guy on TicToc who does a stunt with a pineapple where he cleanly takes the top off with his hands, whilst wearing a superhero cape. I’m confused about the cape aspect.

Turns out I seem to suffer a lot of pineapple related confusion.

You can’t use up the stunt pineapple because then it will just be a pineapple.

Was this back before Pineapples were readily available in supermarkets.

Or is it an entice the buyer sex thing?

Hiring a ‘stunt’ pineapple (in that it was purely for show and had to be returned) use to be a thing done to show off your wealth at grandiose dinners in the mid-1700s.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-53432877

In the way it’s being used here I suppose it’s sort of shorthand for the things you might do to stage a house for a speedy sale — fresh fruit, a vase of flowers, smell of coffee/baking, nice bedlinen etc.

The pineapple has been made (ever so slightly) clearer now with above posts... However, plonking a pineapple or scent of bread into a house that's still being cleared & not yet on the market still makes absolutely zero sense.

Read the article I linked below.

Which also features the weirdly fascinating titbit that pineapple varieties were bred in the mid-20thc precisely so that the rings would fit perfectly inside a can.

Though the kitchen staging that made me laugh most was some footballer’s kitchen years ago in Hello! magazine, which was acres of completely bare dark marble work surfaces, accessorised only by a single butternut squash lying artfully on its side.

It's not the dog that's barking!

They’re clearing their dead dad’s house while trying to manage his dog. I’m sure you’ll get a deserved “fuck off” if you turn up on their doorstep smirking about how quickly you want them to sell.

I shall have a look.

I never miss an opportunity to see an artfully positioned butternut squash!

It's never brown speckled bananas is it?

All these newbies don’t know about stunt pineapples 🤷‍♀️

I feel you have to have been on MN since "it were all fields round ere" to remember the stunt pineapple property threads!

Love it OP, made me all nostalgic.

I would like help with getting the flocks of starlings to move on from our village. It's been weeks. I think we need a flock of stunt hawks.

I thought it was in reference to the upside down swingers pineapple thing? 👯