Teams messages: Hi

[Ultravox]

AIBU to hate it when a colleague starts off a conversation like this?

Colleague: Hi

Me: Hi

Colleague: How are you?

Me: I’m fine thanks - how are you?

Colleague: I’m fine. Can you send me that sales spreadsheet please?

I mean I guess I don’t have to ask them how they are, but it feels rude not to after they have asked how I am! But really, are either of us going to type about how we really are on a teams chat? And without any context of what they actually want I can’t really say how busy I am. Honestly it would save so much time if they just wrote

Hi Ultravox. Could you send me that sales spreadsheet please?

YABU: you are a killjoy - they are just being nice and you should smalltalk for a bit and ask them how they are too

YANBU: it’s a waste of time and typing - just cut to the chase!

I don't reply in most cases, if all they say is hi. Fortunately, my colleagues are mostly antisocial IT techies, so they don't bother with faffing about (at least, not in that way.) Most of them just do stuff like, "link to network diagram." Sometimes followed by "oops, with link this time"...

Manager in my previous job used to start with"Hi Bearhug," if he was in a good mood, or "Bearhug." if he was about to give me a bollocking for my latest perceived crime. I left that job after 5 months.

I think on WhatsApp, it's mostly only OLD men who haven't spoken to me for ages who start with "Hi" and no more. Normal people say stuff like, "Hey, fancy a catch up?" or whatever.

Congratulations on retirement! It sounds like your COVID work life was similar to mine and I agree, it was truly awful. I hope you can enjoy retirement to its fullest and I wish you every happiness!

One of my direct reports does this:
'Hello Healthy
...
...
...
...
...
Hope you're well.
...
...
...
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Whateveritis'

It's bloody painful, and the urge to write "Just fucking spit it out!" is growing stronger every day.

I don't respond to the hi messages. So it goes:

Them: Hi

Me:

Them: how are you?

Me:

Them: when you see this could you send....

Me Hi, all good thanks, you? Sure NP here it is.

Gosh, you are friends with my oh. Sorry about that. Only he has now moved on to voice notes so you get the

Dave is recording...for ages

Then you have to listen to Dave rambling for 10 min about how he has just found a parking space at tesco and then he was going to do the petrol after the foodshop but before the post office. But then as he pulled up to park the car he thought perhaps he should do the petrol first? And if I need anything I can just phone. And he might call me in 2min to check something.......

It is irritating as f*^+#

I ignore all teams messages that start out “hi”. The sender soon posts a follow up to say what they really want.

Looking at it from the other side, they probably think I’m a miserable bastard, but makes my life easier.

I’ve sent a hi message by mistake on teams because I pressed return button 🫢

I hate It bit not nearly as much as 'Hey'.

Get to the point.

Totally agree 🤣 I always think just get on with it. It’s not like they message to ask me how I am if they haven’t got anything to ask me to do 🤣

Just had to reply as you are called @Ultravox. Oh, Lordy Lordy, best band ever! Virtual high five and a wave to you! (Yes the teams small talk is a tedious waste of time, totally agree) Xx

I’ve received a couple of ‘Hi’ messages.
i just reply ‘Hi’ back and don’t hear from them again for another day or two!
Totally agree with you, so annoying, just cut to the chase!

Easy don’t respond to the initial hi greeting until they say what they wsnt

Oh I hate this too. I now ignore them until they actually say what they are messaging me for.

I've now got "hello" by Lionel Richie in my head.