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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put a note through my neighbours door?

60 replies

mooooose · 03/03/2025 23:52

My neighbours smoke weed and always have done. In the summer it smelt worse because of the heat and they'd smoke it in the garden all day. Didn't say anything just thought they can do what they like. But in the past few months I've started to smell it inside, like really strongly. Don't know if they're growing it or smoking indoors or whatever. But the smell is drifting into my back bedroom where my daughter sleeps. I'm absolutely pissed off.

They aren't approachable, we've lived here for years and have always tried to get on with them and be pleasant but Never had a single smile or hello from them. They just ignore us which is fine but obviously makes it very awkward to approach things like this.

When we brought our first baby home he put a note through our door telling us that our baby crying was too loud and that he couldn't sleep. DD slept full nights from the age of 4 weeks and honestly didn't cry in the night.. I ignored it as didn't want an argument but I knew from this moment he was quite an unreasonable man.

Anyway, would It be unreasonable for me to post a note through their door asking them to stop smoking weed in the house? I don't even know if he'll listen. Is there anything else I can do. The smell is knocking me sick and I feel so bad and worried that DD has to sleep in it.

OP posts:
Thedogscollar · 03/03/2025 23:55

I'd be calling the police. They sound like utter arseholes.
Your baby is breathing in that shit.

ShamrockShenanigans · 03/03/2025 23:57

Not unreasonable, just totally pointless as it doesn't sound as though it'd make any difference.

And obviously the police wouldn't be interested unless of course you can prove in some way they're growing it, but that's a different smell and wouldn't just affect one room of your house.

I feel for you OP, it smells like fox piss to me 😭🤢

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 03/03/2025 23:59

No note. Face to face conversation. Wait till he's out then go see the wife and talk to her.

LaineyCee · 04/03/2025 00:00

I’d make an anonymous report to the police saying you think there’s a cannabis farm in the property. Don’t put a note through the door beforehand or they’ll suspect it’s you. Are they renting? If so, you can also complain to their landlord.

mooooose · 04/03/2025 00:00

They are arseholes tbh 😭 I don't think he police will be interested. Feel like just sending DH round but just know the neighbour will start an argument. So unfair. It smells fucking awful

OP posts:
Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 04/03/2025 00:01

mooooose · 04/03/2025 00:00

They are arseholes tbh 😭 I don't think he police will be interested. Feel like just sending DH round but just know the neighbour will start an argument. So unfair. It smells fucking awful

Thats why i said you go and speak to the woman. Keeps the men out of it and all that macho bullshit.

mooooose · 04/03/2025 00:04

@Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou That's not a bad idea actually. She's rather quiet, doesn't say much. I don't know if she'd be any better but she doesn't seem mouthy or anything. Maybe I'll try that.

Just so awkward. Who the hell chooses to smoke weed in the house- baffles me 🤢

OP posts:
suburberphobe · 04/03/2025 00:14

I smoke weed, just at home, doesn't get anywhere in my neighbours flats.
Never had a complaint.

But then I don't live in UK where they smoke skunk, even smelling it in a bag made me almost fall over backwards. Disgusting stuff.

Sorry you are going through that OP.

Ebeneser · 04/03/2025 00:17

suburberphobe · 04/03/2025 00:14

I smoke weed, just at home, doesn't get anywhere in my neighbours flats.
Never had a complaint.

But then I don't live in UK where they smoke skunk, even smelling it in a bag made me almost fall over backwards. Disgusting stuff.

Sorry you are going through that OP.

Just because you haven't had a complaint doesnt mean the neighbours can't smell it. I've smelt my neighbours weed plently of times but not complained even though it winds me up, especially when I can't open the windows.

LaineyCee · 04/03/2025 00:25

The police are pretty hot on cannabis farming, not just because it’s a silly issue, but also due to the risk of fire or explosions from the illegal hook-ups to power them.

(The hope would be that a police search, even if your neighbours aren’t growing would lead them to curtail their consumption.)

And if they are renting, using the place for illegal activities will be a breach of their lease. Their landlord/lady might care enough to do something/have already been looking for a pretext to evict them.

RamsestheDamned · 04/03/2025 00:29

Report anonymously to police and environmental health. Start a diary to keep reporting.

glittercunt · 04/03/2025 00:33

suburberphobe · 04/03/2025 00:14

I smoke weed, just at home, doesn't get anywhere in my neighbours flats.
Never had a complaint.

But then I don't live in UK where they smoke skunk, even smelling it in a bag made me almost fall over backwards. Disgusting stuff.

Sorry you are going through that OP.

I've smelt it in several places I've lived, was no way I was going to say anything.

You think people don't notice but many do.

In one house, a terrace, it came through the walls so strongly, was unbelievable.

DevilledEgg · 04/03/2025 00:39

suburberphobe · 04/03/2025 00:14

I smoke weed, just at home, doesn't get anywhere in my neighbours flats.
Never had a complaint.

But then I don't live in UK where they smoke skunk, even smelling it in a bag made me almost fall over backwards. Disgusting stuff.

Sorry you are going through that OP.

You probably come across as volatile and unapproachable like the majority of weed smokers I've met so they won't want to poke the bear

AngelicKaty · 04/03/2025 01:05

@mooooose It's still illegal to smoke weed in the UK OP, so you should report it to the police, particularly with the problems you're now having with it encroaching into your home (I would not be happy with my young children breathing in second-hand weed smoke). It could be they're now growing it in their home too, which may explain the increased pungency.
You say you've lived there for years so I'm assuming you own your home, but do your neighbours own theirs or are they renting? If they're tenants and you can find out who their landlord is, you could consider contacting the landlord for help (most landlords would be unhappy with them smoking it, let alone growing it in their property).

BaMamma · 04/03/2025 01:07

DevilledEgg · 04/03/2025 00:39

You probably come across as volatile and unapproachable like the majority of weed smokers I've met so they won't want to poke the bear

Why are you having a dig at @suburberphobe? Good weed doesn't smell nearly as bad as that evil skunk you've got over there!

Computer glitched and posted twice :o|

BaMamma · 04/03/2025 01:08

DevilledEgg · 04/03/2025 00:39

You probably come across as volatile and unapproachable like the majority of weed smokers I've met so they won't want to poke the bear

Why are you having a dig at @suburberphobe? Good weed doesn't smell nearly as bad as that evil skunk you've got over there!

Rabssccuttlefissh · 04/03/2025 01:12

I would report it to the police.

JanglingJack · 04/03/2025 01:57

Ebeneser · 04/03/2025 00:17

Just because you haven't had a complaint doesnt mean the neighbours can't smell it. I've smelt my neighbours weed plently of times but not complained even though it winds me up, especially when I can't open the windows.

Same here. I'd just be nodding off at 10.30 and then they have their last spliffs before bed and well it wakes me up wafting up to my bedroom from their garden.

To be fair she got her kids to smoke in a shed they built after I came home one summers day after 2 hours out, bellowing... It fucking stinks of weed in here, I slammed my windows whilst shouting if my daughters uniform stinks of weed in the morning, then I'm calling the fucking council.

Oh yes, I was a complete ranting arse hole.

It worked though.

It was when England lost to Croatia on the semis (?). Many years ago, but I wasn't happy.

She doesn't mind when I jack up and fall in her garden though.

Martibum · 04/03/2025 02:31

I would play silly bugger and say "have you noticed an extremely over bearing smell from our party wall/shared side? It's increasingly getting worse, we've rang environmental health. We've already had a plumber over to check the drains and it's not coming from there"
Or skip all that and just go ahead and ring environmental health dept anyway.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 04/03/2025 03:19

Rather than telling them what to do/not do i.e. stop smoking weed in their house, I'd describe the problem, i.e. the smell is coming through in X part of your house, and ask them to take steps to stop that.

My rationale being they're unlikely to quit cold turkey on your say so but they might be willing to change things so the smell doesn't reach you.

chocmalt · 04/03/2025 03:55

I agree that just because no-one has complained doesn't mean they haven't noticed the weed or aren't bothered by it. I would be unlikely to approach someone who I suspected was frequently smoking weed (regardless of the 'quality') because I wouldn't expect them to be reasonable and I'd find the whole situation too intimidating.

I'd be surprised if the wife is able to convince her stoner husband to change his behaviour (assuming it's not her habit you're smelling). Still, it could be worth a try, unless you plan to file any complaints. No sense it making things too obvious.

Agix · 04/03/2025 04:56

Our neighbours smoke weed. They both work from home from what I can tell, for HMRC. Just they're stoned out of their minds dealing with everyone's taxes lol. It's fucking disgusting. Haven't complained because there's no point.. At the end of the day if they gave any shit about other people, they wouldn't be getting their CBD or THC (whichever they're gonna say they "need") through such an antisocial means anyway.

Topsyturvy78 · 04/03/2025 04:56

If their smoking it that much they are most likely also growing it. I'm sure the police will be very interested.

autisticbookworm · 04/03/2025 05:01

I'd say nothing and ring the police.

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