To ask for a Valentines card?

[Carswell]

My partner has never given me a card in the nearly 2 years we’ve been together. But he does great presents. Still, I feel the disappointment!

he’s got me a valentines pressie and I already know it’s a bottle of my favourite gin. But I suspect another year will go by with no card. He doesn’t do it for birthday either.

I’ve got him a card and a present. Will I look totally spoiled to let him know now that I want one?

If you have to ask for one isn’t it kind of meaningless?
Some people just don’t ‘do’ cards, he does gifts, why isn’t that enough to show you what you mean to him? Why does a card make it all mean more? just curious.

It's a folded piece of paper. He's remembered the day by buying you a present?

I don’t know why I care so much. I’m a writer and despite being youngish, quite old fashioned in spirit!

I used to buy books of people sending each other old love letters. I didn’t even know what his handwriting really looked like until recently and it bothered me for some reason.

What's the significance of a card? I don't think I have ever written one for any occasion.

I suppose the other thing is I keep meaningful cards and letters where they matter. I have a card from a close friend from 20 years ago. I just think it had a different meaning.

It's all commercial hype. Generally cards get thrown and added to recycling. At least he bought you something meaningful instead of standing in a card shop with loads of other people buying the same thing. It's more genuine from him if he's not buying one because he doesn't see the significance.

Now he he wrote you a poem from the heart at any other time than Valentines then yes that would be different. I wouldn't hold your breath though OP.

At least he's bought you something.

You’re asking for it so what’s the point! He isn’t doing it out of love, it’s because you asked! Appreciate the gin! Loads of people get nothing!!

I know, this is it isn’t it!

I suppose it wont be the same if I have to ask. It’s a shame as I’d love it so much 🙁

If this one small thing is important to you, I think it's OK to ask.

Something like, "Can I ask for something small? I would just love a Valentines card. It's a small thing but it would mean a lot to me. I keep cards that I've been sent that mean a lot, and I would love to keep one from you."

I think you could say you would love one this year so you have a keepsake to remember the day to look back on fondly.

Have you told him that cards are particularly important to you? It's possible that it just hasn't occurred to him that it would be necessary to get a card alongside a gift - some people just assume that if you're actually seeing someone to wish them a happy birthday / Christmas / Valentine's in person and are handing them a gift, a card isn't required. If he's generally a nice, caring bloke I'm sure he'll understand if you explain it's important to you.

Tbh I see no problem in asking, because he clearly won't read your mind, so what's stopping you? Let him know now you'd appreciate the card and maybe next year you won't even have to tell him that again!

Just say you'd love a card as you enjoy them

If he really wanted flowers on his birthday, would you feel like he was silly to ask? Of course not! You’d buy them lovingly, it’s just something you haven’t thought of before. It doesn’t make the flowers any less special, you’ve chosen them. I would just say that you really like cards, it’s not a big deal!

You've never written a birthday/Christmas/Christening/Leaving/Wedding card?

I think I wrote one Christmas card to my neighbour and that was only because they popped one through my door. Cards which are sent make sense because you are not seeing the person. If you are attending someone's birthday, I think it is odd and awkward to hand them a card when you are standing right in front of them and can perfectly well verbalise your warm wishes.

That's lovely and I'm a writer too. I love expressing my feelings in writing. However, not everyone's like that and I wouldn't force it in someone else.
My ex used to write absolutely beautiful love letters and poems but to be honest they made me cringe. He was a complete shit and a cheat so the letters and poems were just empty words.