Aibu to hate the way I look

[StrawberryJamx]

Ladies I literally hate the fucking way I look. Always have done it’s just got progressively worse over the years 😔 I wear make up, I straighten my hair and literally nothing helps. I still look ugly. This isn’t a sympathy post at all I’ve been to therapy about it and nothing helps, I spent all of my pregnancies hoping and praying my children didn’t look like me and luckily they don’t. Is there anything I can do (other than a face lift! Or a face transplant) that can help my appearance? I’ve got 3 children and one is a toddler, I don’t really follow makeup that much and I’m not really good at it. I’m more of a plain Jane id say. To make this an Aibu, Aibu to literally hate the way I look?!

You look lovely. What would make you shine though is to get happy/ smile more then your eyes would light up. Is it really about how you look? Objectively there is not one thing wrong with you.

You look great. You have beautiful eyes. Mine are hooded with lashes that point down. I would love my eyes to be like yours. You're lucky to look like that, not ugly in the slightest.

The only thing I'd change as a personal preference would be to get your brows shaped, change your lipstick and maybe experiment with waves/curls in your hair.

It's hard to accept it but you don't look anywhere near as bad as you think. This is all a mental thing. Please try hard not to criticise yourself in front of your kids (especially if you have girls). The last thing you want is for them to be like that to themselves.

OP you are stunning. I agree this isa mental health issue.

You look perfectly fine and lovely to me OP

You look absolutely fine and also well groomed - I can only imagine you are holding yourself up to some impossible standard that no normal person could meet.

I don't think it matters what anyone tells you, it's you that has to believe it.

Think logically for a moment.

What would you be saying to another woman who showed you a photo of themselves?

Who told you green eyes are boring? Why do you think they are boring? True green eyes are only seen in 2% of all people so they are rare and desirable.

What is it you think needs to be swapped? Dark hair? Why? Most people have dark hair - what makes that unattractive or problematic?

If you don't think these things are a problem in other people, why are they a problem for you?

Body dysmorphia is a serious MH disorder and needs specialist treatment. Have a look here for some guidance and support: https://bddfoundation.wpenginepowered.com/support/support-in-the-uk/

You are lovely, I understand you can't see this though.
Is therapy an option for you?

Op if i looked like you, it would be an upgrade! You are objectively pretty, i think only therapy will fix how you feel tbh, keep going with it

How are pure green eyes boring? They're one of the rarest colours! 😍

OP you look great as many others have said, I think you have some self esteem issues which you need to work on more than your actual physical looks.

How beautiful they are obviously! I’m not one to put people down at all and I wouldn’t cos I feel so shit about myself but I believe everyone is pretty in their own way, except me. I need to do my brows haven’t done them in years I don’t have time nor money cos I put every one else first before me.

I’ve lost a significant amount of weight but that’s not making me feel better either! I’ve put makeup on today for the first time in ages and it hasn’t even helped.. maybe this is a problem with in and i
maybe I do need therapy again cos of all these comments I find it hard to believe but best believe if there was one bad comment, id believe it

Mumsnet tends to make peoples mouths and egos to big

I would ask for this post to be removed OP as you don’t know who is on here IRL and they may recognise you.

You absolutely aren’t ugly. You have lovely sleek, shiny hair, lovely big eyes, full eye brows, clear skin to name but a few. People would give their left arm to look like you.

You’ve got to remember that photos we see online have generally got filters or to get one good photo, they’ve had to take 10 in total.

A good make up technique can also work wonders and transform someone from basic to gorgeous. Look at some of the cat fish videos where the woman looks nothing like they do once they’re painted their face.

99% of us look normal/average. Only a tiny minority look like a Victoria secret model and even then, they aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. I don’t think Bella Hadid is attractive 😳 I’m sure she doesn’t care what I think of course but objectively, I think she’s strange looking and not at all what I’d ever want to look like.

Beauty is subjective.

You look great! You have lovely big eyes, shiny hair and your brows are a great shape, especially if you haven’t had them down for years!

If I had to pick on something for you to change, it would be your top, which is the only thing plain and boring in your picture!

What the fuck have I just read. You look amazing woman !

I don't think you need to change anything but maybe your on a rut so could try out some new loos maybe?

What about some layers and some loose curls in your hair with a bit of volume if you always straighten your hair . Might be a fun change

A few little lowlights to add some dimensions

Curtains bangs are all the rage

People rave about microbladed eyebrows and say they really make a huge difference to thier face

Get yourself a new outfit that you feel good in

Get your nails done even just painted clear if you don't like nail colours

Face masks and hair masks weekly and a lovely body lotion

And always hand a stunning perfume on that always lifts you

Drink loads of water and good diet and keep your home tidy

Start a new hobby

And tel yourself everyday in the mirror out loud that you are beautiful inside and out. It's a process until you stop feeling silly doing it

I just want to reiterate I don't think you NEED any of the above but think you might benefit from it as maybe a good change is all you need

You're not ugly, you have body dysmorphia. No, so-called face transplants are just for the seriously maimed / deformed, and as for a facelift, you've got nothing to lift yet; nothing's sagging. Get back into therapy and try to address why you've come to believe things about yourself that just aren't true. For example, why do you straighten your hair? Who told you that straight is better than curly?

The beauty industry takes us all for mugs. Get wise to it.

I know you don't feel it but you are actually above average lovely. You don't need to change a thing but you need to find a way to believe. Ask your friends and family what they think! Maybe a makeover would help as long as this isn't a serious mental health problem, if it is that then you need to get some help because this is eating away at you and will come between you and your beautiful children. Wishing you love and hugs