Work colleagues or friends?

[StrugglingAsAlways]

So I’m on a phased return at the moment after being off with mental health issues, namely anxiety and depression. Anxiety has been exacerbated by work as there is a lot of change going on. I am, or thought I was, really good friends with a colleague. We are a hybrid working from home team but we have always got on. Since I’ve been on the phased return I’ve barely heard anything from her. It feels so shit. My husband says that your work colleagues are not your friends. Is he right?

2 of my best friends were colleagues to begin with (different organisations) more than 10 years ago. It all depends on the person; but I would say unfortunately, work friendships can be more superficial than they seem. Some people have an agenda.

If this helps, my work bestie is on MH leave due to work stress right now and I have not bothered her, because I assume (rightly or wrongly) that she does not any extra reminders of work and I would be one. Hopefully, she knows I care. May be your mate keeps distance to protect you?

So do you meet up outside of work? Chat on evening/weekend, do hobbies together?

There's a difference between work friend and friend. If they are a work friend whilst it would be nice for them to touch base they may see as an in work friendship only. Or they may be a fair weather friend. If you are friends separate from work they are not a good friend.

Work friendships can feel stronger than they are in reality as you have work in common and see a lot of each other. It can be a surprise to realise you aren't as close as you thought. Other than that , we are not encouraged to contact colleagues who are sick as it is private information and its up to the person who is off to contact the people they want to know.