To give up on this friendship?

[mushtoom]

My best friend had a baby 14 months ago. I completely accepted our friendship would change and I feel like I’ve been accommodating. I invited her to my birthday and she said no, I didn’t make a big deal out of it and assured her it was absolutely fine, always offered to come to her, go out to baby friendly places, made it very clear when I asked to meet up that baby was more than welcome.

The last few times I’ve asked to meet up she will ignore the text for weeks and then exclaim “she’s a shit friend and so sorry”. But it makes me feel shit. She’s on her phone constantly and can’t find 2 minutes just say yes or no.

On your position I’d ask her straight out if she actually wants to continue the friendship-and say, « if I don’t receive a response I’ll assume you don’t. »
She could have PND, general depression or just feel that she just wants to be with her baby. She owes you an explanation though.
You sound like a lovely friend. I hope you manage to sort it out.

She sounds like me. Obviously I don't know what's going on inside her head, but for me I'm 2 years in to motherhood and I still find responding to even the simplest messages so overwhelming. I was diagnosed with Post-natal depression and anxiety and would raise the message thing in pretty much all the therapy sessions I had, but never got to the bottom of why it's so difficult or how to get on top of it. I am successfully holding down a dull-time job, looking after a toddler whenever I'm not working, and navigating a second pregnancy, but for some reason really struggle with keeping in touch with friends. I just know it's 100% a me problem and not a reflection on how I feel about my friends or anything they've done