I have 3 DC, eldest is on the spectrum and has ADHD. He is a nightmare on school mornings. My younger two need help and chivvying but nothing compared with DS1.
It’s not that he simply forgets to get dressed/brush his teeth. He is asked and asked. I hand him his clothes. I might even try to start to undress him (he’s 10 in the spring so he is way too old!). He is defiant, silly, complete avoidant. I’ve read all the books, looked up all the tips for PDA etc (framing requests carefully, scaffolding, using special ADHD timers).
He pushes my buttons like no one else. I also have myself to get ready for work and other DC so I cannot spend 1.5 hours getting my nearly 10 year old ready.
He’s not like this with DP as much. Still tricky but much more compliant, much more willing.
After school DS is great most of the time. Often gets himself ready for his after school clubs on first request. He says he’s happy at school, and is performing well academically, has nice friends. I will be meeting with his teacher soon to get more info in case it’s school based anxiety, but 9 times out of 10 he’s actually ok once we are out the door. It’s just the process between waking and leaving that turn him into a monster. He can be like it on weekend mornings too.