How to manage when ExH has put you through hell

[brokenheart24]

I went through a horrible divorce with my ex, he dragged out court proceedings, kept the kids away from me, lied about me to the children. I don’t trust him and I honestly want no relationship with him. It’s hard for me to even look at him let alone speak to him about the kids.

I’m thinking about the future with the children, being in the same room as him for our children. It makes me sad, because since we’ve separated I’ve always wanted to be friends so we could be there for our kids, but he didn’t want to do that.

I feel sorry for our children, they have two parents who hate each other. Those of you who have a relationship like this with your ex, how do you manage?

How long have you been separated/divorced? How old are the kids and how often does change over happen?
You pretend at first and be cordial for their sake. After a while, the emotion will be gone and you will feel complete indifference to each other. Then the relationship dynamic can change, almost from a clean slate, and you can become effective co-parents.
My ex hurt me badly, granted he didn’t lie to my kid about me or try to keep him from me but he made my life hell. That was several years ago and believe it or not, we actually get on when we see each other now. Are on the same page write parenting and rarely fall out. We even make allowances for each other on the odd occasion one has plans and so needs to other to have DC. It is possible, it just takes time.

I just don’t see my ex. His horrible attitude hasn’t changed so I avoid him completely.