Work travel- to feel guilty?

[Stressedgiraffe]

I have to travel for work. Its a new job.. Its supposed to be 30% travel but next month I'm away for 3 weeks. 3 separate weeks sun to friday.
Dh is fine with it. He doesn't work . I have 2 dds aged 15 and 18 . They will be fine .
My main worry is that they'll just eat frozen food. So why am I worried/ anxious? If it was the other way round no one would question it? So Why am I so anxious?

Hey there,
worst case and they eat freezer food for three weeks, it's not the end of the world. Is that really what you are worried about, or do you not want to travel?

Why, given the ages of the children and he doesn't work, can he not be bothered to cook decent meals?

Why can't your DH produce some decent meals?

If you're worried about what them eating while you're away, that suggests you do all the cooking when you're home? Does your DH, who doesn't work, not do any of this?

I would worry about not being around for them, I wouldn't worry about the food. And I wouldn't be happy about it the other way around either, unless it was a one-off

So your DH doesn't work and doesn't cook?

Don't your kids cook? Can you batch cook with them before you go? We eat frozen food all the time but it's home made chilli, pasta sauce, curry etc put in take away tubs in the freezer to heat up like a ready meal.

I don’t understand why DH and DDs can’t at least between them produce a meal? Dont batch cook - let them fend for themselves. It’s about time.

This.

@Stressedgiraffe youre infantilising your h and your 2 dds

they surely know how to feed themselves and if not (why not?) they can use this as an opportunity to learn essential life skills.

if you want to help kick start them, get them to suggest a meal plan for the week 1 and draw up a shopping list and then leave them to it.

so you work, earn all the money, you do everything and anything for them? They do nothing for themselves or for you? Really? Is that what’s going on? When are you going to open your eyes and stop facilitating such laziness and lack of respect?

sounds like this is a situation that needs turning round PDQ.

Batch cooking was my initial thought until I read the whole OP.

absolutely make them pull their weight @Stressedgiraffe and they can keep it up after your trips too.

there are 3 people in your home who could pitch in and take turns to help the household

Freezer food isn’t inherently bad, it depends on what it is. If DH doesn’t work, why can’t he knock up a few fresh meals? Doesn’t have to be Michelin starred.

I am guessing you feel guilty because you are infantilising your husband and your nearly-adult children and think they cannot possibly thrive without you being there. Something I was told a long time ago when I worked in management is "if your team cannot function without you, it's a sign of poor management". Works in life too.

I thought you were going to say you had preschoolers and DH works FT. (Some personal projection there! )

Of course it's fine for you to travel.

Of course your DH and teens should be capable of feeding themselves a proper diet while you're away. But a bit of freezer food won't kill them either.

Perhaps the OP should wipe their arsed for them too?

Why on earth would the OP batch cook for 2 adults and one teen when she's working away?

Sounds like the OP being away for 3 weeks will be the wake up call they all need? If I were her I'd start working away as much as I could and never cook for them again.

So why am I worried/ anxious? If it was the other way round no one would question it? So Why am I so anxious?

Living in what's still an ingrained sexist society?
Is your DH worrying about what he and your teens will eat? If not, why not? (unless he's disabled in some way that prevents him shopping and cooking). Your kids - one is a young adult - are also old enough to do some of this, obviously.

Or the almost adult kids cook decent meals

Hellofresh or another food delivery company get the kids to pick what they want…..

my husband works away - he does not give one thought to what we are eating I can guarantee

During lockdown my DD who was 13 was cooking Gousto meals to help to teach her to cook. She wanted to by choice. How come they both wouldnt cook, and also your DH? But worst case, eating from the freezer for 3 weeks won't harm them.