How rude was this?

[Tiredallthetimeneedsleep]

And was the response because he was a knob or because I was a woman on her own with kids- or both.

On flight home. Passenger behind had hand on the top of Dd's seat, slightly encroaching on the front of it too. Dd started getting upset so I asked him if he could remove his hand please? He replied "why? It's not doing her any harm is it!"?. I replied, well, she might have a meltdown because she has ADHD, whereupon he replied with a grunt and removed his hand.

If I'd have had said what I was thinking which was along the lines of, because we paid for this fucking seat, it might have been a different outcome.
I don't believe I was BU

What a weird position he must have been in!

And no, you were not rude. He was, though.

He's a twat

I've seen men do this to other men. There are men who like to be as difficult as possible to lone women with children, but I couldn't call this one. On my last flight I was sleeping leaning on my table, but in hindsight it could have been annoying for the person sitting next to me (my DP was on the other side).

I hate when people do this and those who hang their jackets over the headrest. I usually change seats with whoever might get upset rather than say anything. I don't say anything anymore because we had some very bad reactions from other passengers when we requested something simple.

YANBU but no need to add the ADHD context. He shouldn't have had his hand there and removing it shouldn't have been seen as accomodating a disability.

Eugh, I'm angry for you op. Bet he wouldn't have dared say anything if you were with a man

He was rude.

I don't think you needed to, or should have explained your DC was ND. Anybody could dislike a hand on the top of their seat.

He was a dick.

He sounds a self-entitled thunder cunt!

Rude and creepy. Ugh. 😣

@AgileGreenSeal

creepy?? WTF are you on about? He had his HAND on the cack of a seat on a plane.

Woman travelling on her own with children. Man encroaching on space, daughter distressed. Yes, I think he’s a creep.

Planes are really scrunched up. For some people specially if they have back/shoulder problems and are tall, it might help them to stretch out.

But once you'd asked him to remove it he should have. I wouldn't have mentioned adhd, I would have just said she didn't like it there, that is reason enough.

I agree. Surely most men would, even if they think they're doing nothing wrong, be quite mortified at the idea they are making a young girl feel so uncomfortable the mother has to speak up.

It doesn't matter whether they are tall or want to stretch out. They have paid for their own seat, not someone else's.

This would have made me quite cross. I would have had words.
"KEEP YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM MY LITTLE GIRL"
said rather loudly would have worked quite well, I think.