Would you leave the group?

[25smallstacey]

This is a hard and very sensitive subject for me. No meanness please and thank you. I am speaking to a counsellor about this subject too.

I had a friend group I was very close to and I started a whatsapp group for us in 2017 when we did a trip abroad. The group has grown as people have met partners, think about 20 people in it now.

I moved away and went through a hard time (not a sob story) but i've lost many of those friendships. Had a baby and a 40th the past two years and I posted it but I understand people weren't exactly interested. Every birthday gets group messages in it and mine doesn't. I've muted it but it's painful for me to watch friendship play out where i'm not wanted

I am still friends with four females in the group and speak to them separately (they are the ones who understood the struggles I had more)

Should I just leave the groups and move on?

Sorry to hear this. I would leave the group and invest in the friendships with those who value you. Good luck

Sounds like a no-brainer to me. Keep the friendships that matter and leave the group. Life's to short to feel like an invisible tag-along trailing after the popular kids!

Should add a couple of who I thought were friends don’t ever respond so I don’t invest either. Hope it goes ok for you. Life is too short

If a group makes you sad, leave the group.

Life before WhatsApp was so much better.

To be clear this was my own doing, I ignored people for months, maybe even a year or two and was hospitalised for mental health during this time. I'm delighted to say I'm 100 times better now but was a bit of a mess. Can understand why I'm not someone people want around

Have a lovely husband and DC now though 🤗

Absolutely leave the group. I've left WhatsApp 'friendship' groups and never looked back. Focus on what and who make you happy.

Personally, I would leave the group. I had a similar experience last year: I struggled a lot while trying to make a decision (a lot of anxiety, counseling...), and once I made up my mind and left I couldn't make sense on why I hadn't done it before!
Keep the friendships that work. If you feel you need to explain yourself, you could maybe say politely that you're in a kind of screen detox, that you want to limit the time you spend on your phone and/or prefer communication one on one... Or don't! Just say "Hey everybody, I'm leaving the group but you know where to find me".
Good luck!

If you ignored people for 2 years it's no surprise you're getting ignored now. But if it's not doing you any good just leave it.

Nobody is wrong in this situation but if it's muted anyway then just leave the group.

Have you told people what happened? Well done on getting through the hospitalisation and prioritise your mental health, if that means leaving a group simply leave x

Well done on getting through this period with ur mental health. Not everyone understands what it’s like to have a period when you just can’t maintain a friendship. It’s hard also when you feel urself on the sidelines of a group
I would definitely leave
I left a group about a month ago that I knew I wasn’t really fully part of anymore but was still on the WhatsApp. No hard feelings at all and I sent a nice message - just feels much more aligned to be out and i don’t have those pangs of rejection or just being unnecessary/unimportant when i was seeing the messages.
you can use the bit of mental space to move towards what feels good
not to make it sound easy. I think putting your life back together after hard times is really a specific type of thing that is rarely talked about!

@Lavapoppets Sounds similar to me alright. The pangs of rejections sum it up 😂