Or is this abusive? Ex with 5 year old DS

[mett]

DS is nearly 6. His dad and I split when he was a baby. He is meant to have him two nights per week, but his parents usually end up doing one of them.

He has told me that when his dad tells him off, sometimes he says fuck off.

I asked DS if he directly tells him to fuck off, he says he doesn't but that it's straight after and he says it in a "rage and anger way".

AIBU to kick off?

Start by looking up the criteria for child abuse online. Is it out of order? Yes. Would it prompt me to rethink the arrangement? Definitely. But let's not start shouting "abuse" at every opportunity.

Of course shouting fuck off at a five year old is abusive. Cursing and swearing at a child is one of the adverse childhood experiences (ACE) rating scales.

Abuse, especially childhood abuse, is on a continuum. Its not an on/off switch.

Thank you.

There's been issues with DS' clothes coming home smelling like cannabis too.

The level of shite parenting has to be extremely high for a judge to give any fucks ime.
Examples ime :toddler ds fell through a frozen pond and exh didn't even tell me. Older dc did and mil confirmed... He obviously hasn't heard of secondary drowning or head injuries..
Fell into rock pool and needed eye brow and eyelid stitches.. Exh was up on the walkway and 2 dc(bother under 5) alone on the rocks.
Never used car seats.
Saturday nights dc slept in a chair at whichever mate was having the piss up that weekend end. Then walked back to his flat at stupid o'clock..
Dc went nc when they hit teens.. Absolutely shocked they both survived... Different parenting styles I was told.