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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you say left handed or back handed

62 replies

LeftOrBack · 25/07/2024 11:58

for compliments that are really insults?

YABU - back handed compliment
YANBU - left handed

Left handed sounds right to me.

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 25/07/2024 11:59

Back handed eg with your hand behind your back indicating a level of deviousness.

BaronessBomburst · 25/07/2024 12:00

Back-handed.
It's got nothing to do with being left-handed.

WhatNoRaisins · 25/07/2024 12:01

I've only ever heard backhanded. I'd only use left handed to describe a left-handed person or an object designed for them like left-handed scissors.

zzar45 · 25/07/2024 12:01

Left handed sounds right to me.

How can it sound right when it’s literally not a saying?

huuskymam · 25/07/2024 12:02

Backhanded. Left handed is someone who writes with their left hand, as I do. Never heard it used for anything else.

Sparklfairy · 25/07/2024 12:02

zzar45 · 25/07/2024 12:01

Left handed sounds right to me.

How can it sound right when it’s literally not a saying?

I've googled it and apparently it is! I've never heard it though.

CelesteCunningham · 25/07/2024 12:03

Back handed.

Using left handed in that sense sounds like an insult to left handed people.

LeftOrBack · 25/07/2024 12:03

It literally is a saying! I’ve heard people use back handed too though.

Do you say left handed or back handed
OP posts:
BackOfAsda · 25/07/2024 12:03

Back handed

Left handed means cack handed (both are outdated)

Funkyslippers · 25/07/2024 12:03

LeftOrBack · 25/07/2024 11:58

for compliments that are really insults?

YABU - back handed compliment
YANBU - left handed

Left handed sounds right to me.

Back handed

Left handed sounds right to you because it's already a saying to describe someone who is left handed

Zimunya · 25/07/2024 12:03

As @Comefromaway states, it is "back-handed" - indicating a level of deviousness. But interesting to see that "left-handed" exists in the same realm. I had never heard of that until this post!

berksandbeyond · 25/07/2024 12:04

It’s back handed.

offensive against left handed people otherwise

RuthW · 25/07/2024 12:05

BaronessBomburst · 25/07/2024 12:00

Back-handed.
It's got nothing to do with being left-handed.

This.

I'm left handed.

I'm not back handed

Tulipvase · 25/07/2024 12:05

Back handed compliments.

My son was convinced that the L plate on cars denoted the fact they were left handed.

LeftOrBack · 25/07/2024 12:07

Maybe back handed compliment is the more polite and up to date version but traditionally I think it was always a ‘left handed compliment’.

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 25/07/2024 12:08

I've heard back handed, never left handed. Both may be expressions but one seems far more common.

LeftOrBack · 25/07/2024 12:08

Tulipvase · 25/07/2024 12:05

Back handed compliments.

My son was convinced that the L plate on cars denoted the fact they were left handed.

This has tickled me quite hard!

OP posts:
PinkArt · 25/07/2024 12:09

I've only ever heard back handed. As a left hander I really don't love the idea of a 'left handed compliment' being used like this - thankfully most of the shit said about or done to lefties has been left in the past now.

LeftOrBack · 25/07/2024 12:09

I think I will train myself to say ‘double edged comment’ next time I accuse someone of giving me a left handed compliment.

OP posts:
cardibach · 25/07/2024 12:11

LeftOrBack · 25/07/2024 12:09

I think I will train myself to say ‘double edged comment’ next time I accuse someone of giving me a left handed compliment.

A back handed compliment isn’t double edged though. It’s an insult dressed up as a compliment.

Talipesmum · 25/07/2024 12:11

LeftOrBack · 25/07/2024 12:07

Maybe back handed compliment is the more polite and up to date version but traditionally I think it was always a ‘left handed compliment’.

I really don’t think it was. Try asking how many people here have ever heard of the phrase “left handed compliment”.

LeftOrBack · 25/07/2024 12:11

BackOfAsda · 25/07/2024 12:03

Back handed

Left handed means cack handed (both are outdated)

Cack handed sounds awful 💩

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 25/07/2024 12:11

It probably made more sense when there was a lot of negativity around behind left handed.

HotCrossBunplease · 25/07/2024 12:12

Literally nobody will understand what on earth you are on about if you say “left-handed compliment”.

Back handed isn’t a modern PC way of saying “left handed”, my grandparents would have said “back handed compliment” and they were born in the 1910s.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 25/07/2024 12:12

It's never been left handed you've picked that up wrongly somewhere