WTF is it with people and “cuddling” new born babies.

[CoffeeNeededorWine]

I’ll start by saying most people annoy me. People in general are annoying. I know I sound so welcoming 😂

But honestly, what is it with family wanting cuddles with the baby. Seriously, Fu*k off. I’ve just squeezed a melon out, my boobs are leaking, I can hardly sit down and let’s not even start on when I need a poo! But at least I now get to hold and feed my baby. Oh wait visitor number 746764 wants to “cuddle” or feed her. Firstly, it’s not cuddling your holding her and secondly go home while I enjoy my baby for a bit.

Seriously, hoisting people is a chore normally but when you’ve just had a baby. Give me a break. Go cuddle a dog or something and leave us the F alone.

And no, I don’t think having to converse with other people, while sleep deprived is needed. As “family just want a cuddle” I want some piece and to relax. You’re going home to a good night sleep I’m on feed 765. Don’t even get me started on family who think they know best when baby cries and won’t give her back.
Edited by MNHQ

Has it occurred to you that you're the Karen?

Small babies are a special kinda magic. I love to be around them and hold them but only when it benefits their mother. If entertaining your toddler or cleaning your kitchen is more helpful, that's where I'll be! People who try to avoid returning a crying baby have got bad things coming to them. . I'm still irritated from that experience and it's a solid six years ago!

No one is making us but I’d never deprive family of seeing her even if I am a miserable cow. It’s well hidden behind a welcoming smile and a warm brew. At least I think it’s well hidden because they keep returning.

Christ knows why, I’m not exactly a lovely person. However, it’s not about me so I just stick my big girl postnatal pants on smile and let everyone have their “cuddles.”

Yes, I always want coffee and cake.

No because I’m not called Karen my MIL is. As I’ve explained.

It's not ageist. It's not sexist. It's just another insult and aimed at twats who deserve it
Er, no. Karen is now used for any woman over a certain age who is doing something that someone does not agree with. And since older women are often treated like crap, the someone using the insult is as likely to be a twat as the person it is aimed at.

Erm with all due respect it's only ops baby... if family want they can go have their own babies...

Maybe just stop being a doormat and letting everyone round if you don’t actually want visitors?

Ha! This is why having a baby during the pandemic was the best!!! No visitors, unwanted advise or kissing the baby or not washing hands when touching them.

So I get you!

You’re not a miserable cow!! You’ve just had a baby! And sleep deprivation and postpartum hormones are, in my opinion, fucking HORRIFIC. Rant away my friend… and tell your MIL to shove her opinions up her arse. Sending love & solidarity from one new mum to another x

YANBU. At all.

I can’t even tell you how happy this would have made me.

Don’t worry OP no one will give a shiny shit about your sprog soon, so make the most of it while you can.

Wow, you are hostile. But you’ve opened my eyes to wanting to “cuddle” new babies. I’m guilty….i miss enjoying my grandbabies, so there. That being said, yes, you sound very unfriendly.

I think you'd be happier if you avoided people.

Just stay home with the baby and never answer the door/phone/emails. You'll be reet.

Op a reasonable person doesn't compare a sad story of a loved one to yours... but you're here on mumsnet so it will happen.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, pick up baby, say you’re going into the bedroom for a feed, and stay there until they leave. I’m a very sociable person, but in the weeks post-partum I definitely didn’t thrive on company.

You sound incredibly precious and uptight but if this is how you feel then this is how you feel.
I enjoyed having visitors and we have a lot of family, our front door may aswell have been a revolving one! If I needed to go to the toilet I went to the toilet. If I needed to have a nap after the first one I realised I had other children and responsibilities and got over it 😂
People go one of two ways after having a baby and we both took the opposite paths. Neither is wrong.

Me neither.
I've held 5. Maybe.
Niece's baby. Friend's baby, another friend's baby and a lady at a shared hobby needed her baby holding for a moment. Oh and mine. Yes five.

I don't get it either I think it's generational, luckily I only have two people in our collective families who are pushy and I struggled enough just with that. I think just not worrying about what others are thinking and be honest with how you're feeling about it, "actually I need to go up and feed baby now and try and get some rest, it was great seeing you goodbye" and then walk straight upstairs without a backwards glance and let your partner see them out.
I never have had the urge to cuddle or hold someone's else baby, and even if I did I would never ask but wait until a hold was offered. I find it weird when people get grabby with babies, babies who literally can barely see them beyond a blur, who's smell they can't recognise, and a person who cannot meet their needs.

Thank you for this. I feel terrible for saying no to family as I know they all genuinely mean welll. I just CBA with them all.

My own mum is getting upset because I won’t let her have the baby every Saturday?! Apparently “that’s what nans are for.” I felt awful putting my foot down with that one.

I think because I’m a miserable hermit I’m unsure when I’m just “being miserable” and when it’s genuinely okay to say no. Just because I hate people I don’t want LO to ever feel this. I must be hiding it well because they keep coming!

I was quite proud when family and close friends wanted to hold my newborn, I thought my baby was the cutest baby ever and my family and friends cooing over him was great! Also it was handy having someone holding him so I could make a cup of tea or nip to the loo, give him a bottle so I could put dinner on etc.

Just because I’m a miserable cow I would never want my baby not to be part of the family.

Big smiles now, her comes Karen (my MIL before we get in to that) Steph and Dawn. For their second visit of the week. 😃

Thank you for this. 🎀