DD13 has an AI girlfriend.

[confuseddotcomlikeme]

SHIT.

I checked DD13's phone last night out of curiosity as to what stuff she likes so I can get her something cool for her birthday.

And then I notice this app, named character ai.

I opened it out of interest, and she made a whole character named 'Becky' and has had a long romance with her, with the messages spanning from like late 2023.

She also has an app named replika, and she's been dating this AI girlfriend for over 2 years now! It looks like the replika Becky is her favourite - and it's chatting like they are on a dating app. DD pretends to be a 23 year old woman and Becky is 25.

DD's friend is named Becca, so I might just ask her 'how are things going with Becky' tomorrow, and play it off as I forgetting Becca's name.

DD is King's interhigh, so no teacher to really go to and ask for advice.

I’m torn on the invasion of privacy thing- not like a diary as it’s out there in cyberspace (for want of a better word), and can lead to strangers or at least her moving onto something more real life. Also let’s be adults here, parents still have to parent, the boundary stuff is a nice idea until your child gets deep into something you could have helped them out of. I’d have a talk to her about life, interest etc in general and go from there
edited to add- just my opinion, I’ve no experience in the apps etc you’re talking about I’ve just seen how if you leave kids to it online things can gets tougher than they need

I've never heard of an AI girlfriend!

It's just a fantasy.

Many, many teenagers have fantasy boyfriends/girlfriends in their heads. It's totally normal and it's a way of working through their feelings / emotions / desires. Surely you had times when you were a teenager when you thought about what your perfect boyfriend would be like and imagined going on a date with him or whatever? When I was your DD's age, I had a whole complicated fantasy life in my head in which I was 21 and the girlfriend of a professional tennis player in his late 20s! When I was a little bit older than your DD I used to write fanfic-style stories about myself and a book character I had a crush on.

This is basically the same thing. Just leave her be. It would be absolutely mortifying if you brought it up with her - akin to her finding out you'd read her diary or something.

She's a teenager and she needs to be able to have a private inner life. Yes, she talks to her 'AI girlfriend' more than she talks to you - because she's 13 and she needs an outlet for feelings she can't or doesn't want to discuss with her mother. That's very normal for a teenager.

it’s out there in cyberspace (for want of a better word), and can lead to strangers

It can't 'lead to strangers' - it's not social media or a blog site or a chat room or anything like that. AI apps like that are individuals talking privately to a computer, not individuals talking to each other. Nobody else can see what she writes and nobody else can contact her.

This is the first time you have checked her phone since 2023?! I would say thaf this ship has sailed.