Dreaming about specific people?

[Dreamers1989]

Not really an AIBU but interested in views on the psychological reason behind this!

Does anyone else regularly dream about specific people, despite it not really making any sense?

I am 35, married with DC and every few weeks I seem to have a dream that involves my boyfriend from when I was 16!

Nearly 20 years since our (admittedly very messy) break up, he was my ‘first love’ if you like but I had a couple of more serious boyfriends since and of course am now married.

I just find it so strange my subconscious keeps dredging up this person from my past. I rarely dream about my DH or other previous partners, just this one. I haven’t seen him in probably 15 years.

Only a lighthearted post, but I’d love to know what’s going on in my brain!

I get this sometimes op. It's often a dream about something I'm missing with my DH. I think my dream replaces him with a person who's hurt me in the past iyswim.

What's actually happening in the dream?

That’s interesting! can’t believe I’m saying this but they’re often quite ‘flirty’ (cringe) like we are at a party and ex is trying to rekindle things with me or we are getting on really well and I’m feeling bad about DH - they’re usually ‘set’ at the age we are now rather than a flashback IYSWIM. They’re never overtly sexual or anything but there’s a bit of ‘romance’!

So do you feel you are missing a bit of flirting and romance with your DH?

I have this. I wonder if it's unresolved feelings or a lack of closure from the relationship ending. For me it was 10 years of not really thinking about him then it all came flooding back. Like an unresolved trauma almost. Also second the idea it could be because some of the excitement with DH has fizzled so your subconscious reverts back to buzz and alive feeling you experience with that first love

I would say so yes, with small DC! But interesting how my brain goes to that particular person from when I was a teenager rather than more serious relationships since!

I think it’s probably a bit of both as it was definitely my first (and only really!) heartbreak and I guess there’s nothing like first love, is there?!

And he reminds you of a carefree, young love time of your life.

Awww time to carve that out with DH

Maybe this is it…!