Anyone never married/long-term single? Can we hear some good points?

[Iknowaguywhostoughbutsweet]

I like being careful with my money, I'm not tight, but I'm not into blowing it on fancy dinners and stuff.
Something I found difficult was exes wanting to spend more money than I was comfortable with and feeling pressured into doing so, and inevitably doing so.
What I love about being single is that I'm in total control of my money.

Snoring- this seems to be something universal that women are expected to put up with. We didn't have a spare room so there were many nights on the sofa.

Difficult in-laws. Majority have been lovely, but there was one mother with whom when we were eating, I felt like we were eating with the Royal Family and the slightest 'mistake' at the dinner table would mean you were looked down upon with scorn. MIL regularly commenting on my weight 'Oh you've lost weight!' I was always a size 8 the whole time I knew her.

These are just some things I don't miss, would love to hear more :)

Someone's got ishooooooes! 😆 Don't like the idea of women being single, independent, and happy eh?

Sux 4 U!

I bet there's a lot you don't know.

Buzz off.

?

In a nutshell.

Ditto all of these. I have 2 DC but love so much about having my own beautiful home. When I think how hard won it has all been and that I've done this myself (with support from family/friends) I just pinch myself that it's all real. And it's the first time in my life that I've really loved myself, can trust my gut instinct and give myself the respect I now know I deserve. Do what interests me... wear what I want... eat what I want when I want it... leave the house messy for a few days... have a clean toilet with the seat down... my money and my decisions about it... inviting people to stay without it being an issue... just the general peace. It's a wonderful, viable life choice and I don't know why we're still herded into relationships as the be all and end all.

Bloody MRAs. And they aren't even literate.

This. ^

I starfished on my bed this afternoon totally naked with the fan on.

And no one came in and thought they'd join me because it looked nice and cool. And no one thought that because I was naked I wanted sex.

I mean, don't get me wrong, sex is great. But some times I just want to be naked.

In the event I hadn't already been very happy to be single for all the reasons already posted, I certainly would be after reading@Hateam 's posts. Another one who must be beating them off with a stick 🤣

Oh the 'it's hot and she's wearing just a tee and pants THEREFORE SEX!'

Yeah, I really miss that. 🙄Like I miss a man telling me my opinions are wrong i.e not at all.

There are no bad points! It’s fucking blissful. I’ll never live with a man again. Honestly. There’s absolutely no positives to that life.

Loving these answers 😃😃

Ima single mum to 2. Any time my ex comes to visit I remember how much better I am on my own. Never married so everything I have is what I earned and everything I earned is mine. I have freedom to parent as I choose

This made me smile, then laugh! 😆 Starfish naked on the bed in front of the fan! As you say, if you did this with a man around, he'd jump you! 😬

total freedom to do what I want when I want

I do a fair amount of spontaneous solo travel, which not have been possible in a relationship in the same way

no judgy, bitchy in laws

having my own space which I don't think I can give up now

recently thought about trying OLD one last time. as I wrote my profile, I realised how happy I am and don't really want to change how things are in my life atm.

I'm 46, never married, never wanted to. DS was raised solo by me from 6 months old, aged 20 now and left home. From being a kid in the 80's I considered marriage a total con for women, who always appeared to end up with the bum deal and I distinctly recall around age 8 deciding over my dead body would I ever enter into the last (legal) form of slavery 😆

Incidentally, a friend set me up on a date tomorrow night. I agreed, as I like meeting new people and it's nice to embark on a little romance or fling now and then if the stars align. I have "dated" occasionally over the last 20 years, just to see if I'm missing anything or have changed my mind about wanting to be in a relationship but the overwhelming conclusion is always no. I very quickly start to feel very trapped, and obliged to do things, and I ultimately crave my freedom back.

Over and above what's already mentioned -
There's a whole world of adventures out there- things to do, people to meet, places to see. I love being spontaneous and not having to answer to or consider anyone else. If I want to book a trip abroad right now, leaving tomorrow, or go visit friends in Scotland or Cornwall, or slob around the house ALL weekend with a family tub of ice-cream and a fluffy muff, binge watching Sex And The City reruns then I can do so without resistance or judgement or any reaction from another person.

I love the peace, and more importantly, peace of mind. I'm free as a bird, I sleep like a baby. I don't have to explain or justify any aspect of my existence to anyone and most of all, I love not feeling beholden to anyone.
To summarise, it's half the work and double the fun.

Not having to tolerate excessive alcohol consumption in order to avoid a row. Or having to delay everything in order for him to have a fag.

Not being mithered constantly about things they are perfectly capable of doing themselves.

No more shit TV

No more having to say for the millionth time that I don’t need a blow by blow commentary on the Arsenal v Wolves match.

Not having to spend whole weekends waiting for him to get out of bed.

Not listening to him drone on with his poorly educated political theories.

Not being guilt tripped about housework even though I worked longer hours and brought in three quarters of the household income.

Can you tell how relieved I am not to be married? We split nearly ten years ago and there’s not a day that goes by without me saying a little prayer of gratitude.

Yes definitely money - I never was bothered about what my exes had/didn't and was all too happy to pay out for holidays and meals etc. Having heard so many men getting pissy about women "fleecing" them over the last 10 years I am now very keen not to do that any more, besides I had a child so it all can go towards her.

Holidays - something weird about men is a lot of them seem to really hate going abroad or exploring. I don't know what it is but even men who imply they enjoy it never want to do it once together (hence me paying I suppose!) and seem to suddenly be content to mow every weekend (not complaining) and "potter". I'm all for that too but I do want to know my life isn't completely over and we can share experiences and not kill each other, learn together and make fun memories.

Food - ex was obsessed with "looking after" me for no real reason other than that as a single mum I hadn't had enough of that. All well and good but I do also like cooking. It got to the point he would shoo me out. The food was always OK, but often burnt and too spicy for dd. He would be very upset if we didn't finish it all, portion was too big or suggested it needed salt (fragile ego!). I later discovered he was watching porn in the kitchen 😵which was why he ring-fenced it as his time. Grim.

Being able to get people in to fix things - he was always saying he would help with this or that then not, suggesting he could fix this and then not etc. He expected praise for an entire evening after mowing the lawn and you had to really really lay on thick how grateful you were. I was told at the end of the relationship I "was not grateful enough". I know that is not a me problem (plenty of partners before him!).

Not having weird family - ex had issues with his family that far surpassed the most crazy thing you can think of. Huge secrets and lies to them all. And 2 whole towns knew about it. It was literally the talk of two towns because it was so weird and crazy. He didn't tell me about this I should add, he left it for his family to explain on the first time I met them (not awks at all! 😬).

I have so much respect for women who can do the whole calm patient wheedling of manipulating men to do the smallest thing to help a weekend go smoothly. I really don't miss it. I don't miss weekends bickering or not knowing why or if they are in a mood with you. Not being able to do something because some sport is on, etc etc.

I'm far happier single than I was with him, at least!

Very jealous of all the wonderful life you all have. What about kids? If I want to be single but have kids, I don't think the freedom is that sweet. Most of who responded seem not to have children or are they older and left home?

Can fart loudly with no shame.

It's so much easier when you can only rely on yourself! It's really hard not to get resentful when someone else is there just taking up space and all the air in a room rather than helping. You can choose what to do for a fun day out and just go! You can decide if they get a punishment or if you know they understand and don't have to follow anyone else's rule or explain your POV. You don't have to have them all of the time either in most cases because now it's 50/50, so the ex will actually HAVE to parent their children nowadays if you are married and split! You get time off!

*I have never been married but long term relationships with engagements - can only truly guess what you've had to compromise on

My rant in a nutshell. And in hot weather like this, I can starfish nude with the fan on and not worry about rolling into another hot body.

Mmmm....happy people ranting about how happy they are?

Not ranting. Exulting. Celebrating. Enjoying. Relishing.

Being single is addictive. I can wear what I like, colour my hair how I like, eat when and how I like, go to bed as early or late as I like, and listen to music I like, and listen to audiobooks in bed and play music when I’m in the bath…all this without ever compromising to take into account anybody else who might not like it, or want something different, or have expectations of things being more suited to them and their requirements. Nobody to give me their unsolicited opinions or impose stated or implicit expectations that curtail freedom. Honestly, I feel so lucky to have discovered this. I previously thought being in a relationship was The Best Thing. But it turns out that was an assumption based on cultural norms and literally nothing more. I’m totally unwilling to ever compromise myself into a cramped space with someone else around all the time, ever again. Being single is breezier and more spacious and I’m happy to have gotten to known myself so much better than ever before.