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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to send dirty clothes to my ex's flat

5 replies

cadburyegg · 20/06/2024 20:18

It's been 3.5 years since the split and he doesn't have any school uniform at his flat. On his weekend he collects the kids on Friday from school and returns them to school on Monday. He says the uniform doesn't get dry in time even if he washes it Friday evening so he's said for months he will get his own uniform for them. The school is very relaxed about uniform so supermarket uniform is fine, so not that expensive.

Tomorrow the kids have an inset day so won't be going to his in uniform. I asked him if he had uniform yet, because I've had a mad week and haven't managed to do much washing. He said no and just to send the dirty stuff and he'll wash it.

I'm exhausted at the thought of digging out dirty uniform from the washing basket. I'll also have to send shorts and trousers etc so they can pick what to wear on Monday. I'm very unlikely to get the other item back because I usually don't get stuff back from his. He doesn't pay maintenance. I feel like I'm throwing clothes away.

I'm tempted not to send any uniform at all to teach him a bloody lesson but that'll just mean the kids suffer.

AIBU to be fed up 😭

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 20/06/2024 20:20

Why doesn’t he pay maintenance? And I no it’s hard but I wouldn’t punish the kids for it

PrueRamsay · 20/06/2024 20:21

Why isn’t he paying maintenance?

cadburyegg · 20/06/2024 20:22

He's self employed and CMS has said he doesn't have to pay at the moment because of his earnings and the fact he has them EOW.

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 20/06/2024 20:24

Even if he was unemployed on benefits he’d have to pay a tiny amount a week. When did you last check?

ViaRia01 · 20/06/2024 20:27

It sounds like you’re both making a mountain out of a molehill and finding all sorts of reasons why this is a very unreasonable request. I think he’s being a bit pathetic to not sort their uniform for his house and it also sounds highly unlikely that he can’t get it washed and dried between Friday and Monday.

You could just not send any uniform and let him run around the shops over the weekend to buy the new stuff. That would be fine.

or you could ‘find the energy’ to grab the dirty stuff out of the laundry basket and pass it on to him to wash. You don’t need to send shorts and trousers, just look at the weather forecast now and make a decision about what they’ll wear on Monday.

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