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AIBU?

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To invite him without him thinking it's a date?

2 replies

Snoopy104 · 07/04/2024 18:12

I do cycling and there's a cycling event coming up, there's a man at work I get on with. I am not attracted to him in that way, I wouldn't say we were close but we chat here and there and he's pleasant.
Anyway I know he does cycling too as he initially told me about the club he attends.
I'm wondering if I should invite him to the event? No pressure if he doesn't want to, it would just be nice to have more contacts outside of work.
However a few months back I was good friends with another man at work. This time we were close and went for coffees and such like. I suggested that it would be great to go to the cinema one time as we were constantly talking about films, and he acted as if I'd asked him to marry me and clearly jumped to conclusions, and the result was him trying to ghost me.
He clearly overreacted but it's made me a little hesitant with male friends now.
Just not sure whether to ask this man about the cycling event?

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 07/04/2024 18:21

I would.

I'd phrase it as, "I'm going to such and such event. Wasn't sure if it would be something you'd be interested in too? Here are the details..."

That way you've not specifically invited him to go with you.

Then, depending on his reply either, "Great. I'll probably see you there then!" Or, "No worries. Just thought I'd let you know."

Snoopy104 · 07/04/2024 18:28

GreyCarpet · 07/04/2024 18:21

I would.

I'd phrase it as, "I'm going to such and such event. Wasn't sure if it would be something you'd be interested in too? Here are the details..."

That way you've not specifically invited him to go with you.

Then, depending on his reply either, "Great. I'll probably see you there then!" Or, "No worries. Just thought I'd let you know."

Thank you :)

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