3 weeks into nursery

[Nurserynono]

Child is 13 months and has been going 4 mornings a week and it’s still awful.

hysterics at drop off and pick up and I think on and off upset for the duration.

Is this normal? it’s so horrible and I’m not sure if just not the right place for them.

YABU - pull them out
YANBU - it takes longer to settle in

It's completely normal. I've worked in nurseries, and I am now a childminder. It's horrible for both parents and the child but they usually settle after a few weeks.

It can take much much longer unfortunately. DD settled straight away but DS was hysterical every day, he then continued to cry every single day for a year when he started school. He's Year 1 now and hasn't cried once since September.
He was perfectly happy 5mins after arriving and loves school but just hated the separation.

Do they settle when there?

I wish I'd moved my eldest sooner... she went to a day nursery from 2 until 3 and cried every time I dropped her off and every time I picked her up.
When she started at pre-school, she never cried once. I felt bloody awful for not realising that the nursery wasn't right for her.

It took my 2 year old about 2 months to settle into nursery (he’s in 3 mornings a week). It’s heartbreaking while they’re adjusting but he does genuinely enjoy it now (he’s 3 months in) and looks forward to going.

Gabor Mate talks about how best to handle the transition, worth checking out.

Completely normal. Took both of mine a good few weeks to really settle, and even then my eldest would start the cycle again when he moved up a room, toddlers, pre school etc.

But they will get there. It will click soon, they'll get used to the routine of it and will start to enjoy being there.