To wonder why (some) men do this?

[thisisnotmybeautifulcar]

Downloaded tinder for OLD. Perfectly normal tinder profile.

Guy messaged me, within 5 minutes he asked if I fancied shagging him.

No, I do not.

Blocked him as he was being persistent and suggesting we meet asap for sex.

Within 5 minutes of blocking him, I get a Facebook message - ‘why did you block me on tinder?’

I have no idea how he found my Facebook, I use that solely for family and close friends and don’t use my last name intentionally.

I’ve blocked him on there too, immediately, and tightened my security on x (for professional use) and instagram (which tbh I never use) but I’m so creeped out by it. I can’t figure out how he found me so quickly. He lives 100s of miles away thankfully but I have a lot of family from the same (small) town that he’s from. He will inevitably know one of them due to his workplace.

Surely that isn’t OK? If I was blocked I’d just take no for an answer not start googling!!

He’d probably taken your images and reverse searched them if they’re on your FB too.

Tinder has started a culture of quick meet-ups just for sex. I didn’t realize that either, when I went on there about 8 years ago, I thought it was just a dating app. That’s definitely the expectation of many men on there, that’s why I deleted it after a couple of days.

Block him on everything; what a creep.

Report him to tinder they will remove his profile.

I genuinely can’t figure it out. My Facebook settings claim I can’t be contacted via google etc. I presume he went on Facebook and searched my first name and found a profile photo that vaguely matched. One of the photos I was using on tinder was part of one of my cover photos on Facebook a few months ago. Panicking a bit now as I’ve checked what ‘public’ can see, can see a lot of photos of me, where I study and where I was living last year when I put an advert on for someone to move into my flatmate’s room.

My fault for being so stupid. Hopefully he takes the hint and doesn’t keep trying.

Apps like Google lens and tineye make you searchable even by the most random of pictures. You really need to report him he sounds unhinged.

I actually thought that was what Tinder was for. A hook up site. Is it not?
(never used it.....)

I have rather different feelings about the two parts of what you've written:

Downloaded tinder for OLD. Perfectly normal tinder profile.
Guy messaged me, within 5 minutes he asked if I fancied shagging him.
No, I do not.

You seen annoyed that he's asked you that within 5 minutes on Tinder.

This suggests that you are operating under the impression that Tinder is a dating app. Whilst it may claim to be that, it isn't in reality. It's an app for quickly finding casual sex partners.

On an app for quickly finding casual sex partners, being asked if you fancy shagging someone is to be expected.

Blocked him as he was being persistent and suggesting we meet asap for sex.
Within 5 minutes of blocking him, I get a Facebook message - ‘why did you block me on tinder?’
I have no idea how he found my Facebook, I use that solely for family and close friends and don’t use my last name intentionally.

This is completely unacceptable behaviour by him - depending on the details it may be worth making a complaint to the police, or at least reporting the messages to Facebook.

As a pp said, it’s mainly used for hook ups now. I agree you should report him.

Many women are up for sex with strangers online so it’s not wrong he asked and at least he was up front. However searching your fb was weird but you can change it so only people your friends with can message you that way you won’t get random strangers messaging you.

As others have said he used Google images. It takes minutes to do. It happened to me because although my security on FB is tight, my profile photo and previous ones are public and one of the photos I had used on OLD. I blocked him and moved on - lesson learnt.

It's shit isn't it? I had a bloke called Colin on PoF message to say he wanted to "destroy" me, despite me being fat. Lovely. Usually I block and ignore but for some reason I messaged back, telling what an embarrassment of an inadequate man he was. For the next few weeks I received messages from guys on PoF, seemingly normal, but the message would end "by the way, how's Colin?" or " PS Colin says hi."
It was highly unsettling and creepy.

I met my husband of 8 years 10 years ago on Tinder and know loads of people in LTR who met that way. Is it a mainly shagging app now?

Think that’s the case for most dating apps now tbh

Oh not worse than mine, had someone say they would drink my pee 😂what a lovely chat up line!

I sometimes think the only way to put off this sort of creep is to send them even creepier msgs eg. I am really into 'insert deranged sex act here' that's all I am interested in, hope you are still up for meeting.

or... you look familiar... think I shacked up with your mum/dad/grandparent once

or the one most likely to work. "I think I love you, let's get married straight away"

I once set up a profile on POF just to try to find someone I used to know. No profile photo, no details filled in, and I got a message asking me to meet up that night 😂

Obviously he’s a creepy weirdo, and it doesn’t excuse his behaviour (once rebuffed) at all, but Tinder is primarily a hook-up app.

Nah that could make their behaviour worse cause you’re not dealing with someone with a reasonable mindset. They’ll think you’re a whore who deserves to be punished/humiliated etc

Knowing my luck the deranged sex act would be their goal fantasy!

unfortunately there is that risk. even if you say something like my fantasy is to eat your liver while you are still alive. some pervert somewhere is going to get off on that. but should work with the common street pervert