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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wearing black jeans to a funeral?

14 replies

sayinggoodbye24 · 28/02/2024 08:37

I don’t often attend funerals. Last one was in 2018 I think.

Old school friend’s mum’s funeral today. For several reasons it will be a casual celebration of life at the crematorium, not a formal church affair. No dress code (have asked). Would it be disrespectful to wear smart black jeans rather than formal trousers? I just feel more comfortable in them and hope to provide some support for my friend and say goodbye to a woman that was like a second mum in my teens. She was never one for formality and the house was a lovely jumble of chaos. I don’t feel she would want or expect formality but just checking the Mumsnet hive mind.

OP posts:
RachelGreensHair · 28/02/2024 08:38

Yes it's fine.

Isittimeformynapyet · 28/02/2024 08:39

Agree. It's fine.

Musntapplecrumble · 28/02/2024 08:39

Seconded👆

TheKeatingFive · 28/02/2024 08:40

Absolutely fine

LizzieSiddal · 28/02/2024 08:41

You’ll be fine.
My dh is attending a funeral tomorrow and is wearing black jeans. The person who passed away was very informal and if people turned up in the “usual” standard attire, he would absolutely hate it.

sayinggoodbye24 · 28/02/2024 08:42

Thank you so much. 🌷

OP posts:
sawnotseen · 28/02/2024 08:43

Absolutely fine. Hope all goes as well as it can.
Last funeral I went to was my best friend's mum (also Boy George's mum) last April and only bit of dress code was to wear a bit of green as Di was Irish so a nod to that. I wore a floral on black dress and green boots!

dawnc27 · 28/02/2024 08:52

its my mums funeral tomorrow and if anyone turns up wearing jeans, trainers, fancy dress i wont care, i will just feel honoured that they came to pay their respects and support me and my family

FiveShelties · 28/02/2024 08:55

dawnc27 · 28/02/2024 08:52

its my mums funeral tomorrow and if anyone turns up wearing jeans, trainers, fancy dress i wont care, i will just feel honoured that they came to pay their respects and support me and my family

I agree completely with you and I am so sorry for your loss.

Lifeinlists · 28/02/2024 08:55

Wear what you like. The respect is in turning up.
I was at a funeral the other day where someone had just been feeding a herd of cows before setting off. A few small bits of hay were still on the jumper. Who cared? No one. It was real life carrying on. Black jeans are fine and you don't need to wear black anyway.

Growlybear83 · 28/02/2024 09:04

My son in law wore black jeans to my mother's funeral and that was absolutely fine with me. He was a great support to me and the last thing I was concerned about was that he was wearing jeans.

sayinggoodbye24 · 28/02/2024 09:06

dawnc27 · 28/02/2024 08:52

its my mums funeral tomorrow and if anyone turns up wearing jeans, trainers, fancy dress i wont care, i will just feel honoured that they came to pay their respects and support me and my family

I’m so sorry for your loss.

OP posts:
sayinggoodbye24 · 28/02/2024 09:07

Black jeans are fine and you don't need to wear black anyway.

I live in black.

OP posts:
Youcannotbeseriousreally · 28/02/2024 09:11

dawnc27 · 28/02/2024 08:52

its my mums funeral tomorrow and if anyone turns up wearing jeans, trainers, fancy dress i wont care, i will just feel honoured that they came to pay their respects and support me and my family

I really hope that goes well for you tomorrow and you give your mum a lovely send off x

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