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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Kids in pubs and parents outside smoking

35 replies

LGyouknow · 21/02/2024 13:13

DP & I go to our local pub/restaurant not too frequently but yesterday the experience was so shocking that I don't think we will go back.

This is a local place which has a family restaurant to the back, and also has a separate bar lounge area to the front. Yes it's a family place, therefore I have no problem with kids being there, I totally get that. But yesterday, it was around 7ish and we were sitting in the bar section, next to to table with 2 mums and their 2 kids (looked about 5/6 years old). Fine, however both kids had I-Pad's with their volume blaring out (not even quietly) it was hard to concentrate, and the mums were just nattering to themselves. Every 15 minutes, they would get up, leave the kids at the table and walk outside to smoke....they walked round the front of the pub at least so they could technically see them from the window looking in, not that they did. I was just shocked.

I get it's a family place but does that really mean we have to listen to their kids tv shows when trying to just enjoy a glass of wine with our other halves and chat about out day?!?!

YABU - It's a family pub and this is normal
YANBU - I'm with you on this

OP posts:

KrisAkabusi · 21/02/2024 13:19

You[re easily shocked!

Chickenkeev · 21/02/2024 13:21

They have to outside to smoke obviously, but it should be one at a time and the kids should be wearing headphones.

MarnieMarnie · 21/02/2024 13:28

Complain to the bar staff. People of any age impinging on my ability to enjoy a quiet glass of wine in a pub are selfish wankers/badly parented. There is a guy who drinks in my local and not only does he have a voice like foghorn leghorn combined with a buzz saw, his bratty kids are screechers who treat the plalce like their living room. Wankers.

TenderChicken · 21/02/2024 13:35

Having the volume up on a phone or tablet in public isn't on, you could have asked staff to have a word.

I'm not sure why you are so shocked you won't be going back. A bit dramatic.

ohdamnitjanet · 22/02/2024 06:51

Shocking 😂 They weren’t dealing drugs, they were having a smoke. Annoying, yes, speak to staff. They won’t be there every time you go.

Littlemisscapable · 22/02/2024 07:06

I think the OP is shocked that the kids were unattended in the pub after 7pm as both parents had left at the same time to smoke outside. She's right this is not OK!!!!

Whattodowithit88 · 22/02/2024 07:06

Would you say the same about all the very loud men you get in pubs who create just as much noise?

Unless it’s middle of the day, I’ve never known a pub to be a “quite place to have a drink”.

Yabu.

Pacifybull · 22/02/2024 07:08

Yeah, that is very poor parenting. I’d be shocked too.

Whattodowithit88 · 22/02/2024 07:09

But they wasn’t unattended. Op said they stood outside the window and could see them. It’s a family pub, not like they’re being abandoned in the rainforest.

Some of you really are pearl clutchers

Scarletttulips · 22/02/2024 07:10

20 years ago they could’ve smoked at the table!

You can’t have your cake and eat it, it’s not illegal and no harm came to anyone.

Find a different pub.

Pacifybull · 22/02/2024 07:11

Whattodowithit88 · 22/02/2024 07:09

But they wasn’t unattended. Op said they stood outside the window and could see them. It’s a family pub, not like they’re being abandoned in the rainforest.

Some of you really are pearl clutchers

They were unattended! You have very low standards if you think this is OK - both leaving the kids alone and the loud playing on the iPads. Nothing to do with pearl clutching.

Tempnamechng · 22/02/2024 07:14

Whattodowithit88 · 22/02/2024 07:09

But they wasn’t unattended. Op said they stood outside the window and could see them. It’s a family pub, not like they’re being abandoned in the rainforest.

Some of you really are pearl clutchers

It's a pub, not a soft play 🤣

Scarletttulips · 22/02/2024 07:20

They were unattended! You have very low standards if you think this is OK

Imagine your parents letting you play on the street or even in your bedrooms - out of sight!

No wonder kids struggle on their own!

Pacifybull · 22/02/2024 07:27

Scarletttulips · 22/02/2024 07:20

They were unattended! You have very low standards if you think this is OK

Imagine your parents letting you play on the street or even in your bedrooms - out of sight!

No wonder kids struggle on their own!

How is that relevant? A pub is a licensed premises, with strict rules, not a bedroom or a street. Children aren’t allowed to be unaccompanied.

Whattodowithit88 · 22/02/2024 07:46

Maybe a lot of you don’t know that pub stands for public house, open to the public. Children need to be accompanied when entering a public house, but once the family are inside, with the parents permission are allowed to go play in the pub garden as many have swings/playground equipment for children to play on. Adults are also allowed to leave the table, even if children are still seated. The strict rules don’t come into effect until 9pm.

Any disturbance, from children or ADULTS, can then be removed from the pub and asked to leave. So again, if it was men being loud in a pub (and adults are way more louder in a pub than a kid on a iPad) would you have complained to them? Or is it just women and children in a public house that’s a problem? No way was a child’s iPad louder than the rest of the pub.

TheSnowyOwl · 22/02/2024 07:50

The noise from the iPad would be annoying. Did you consider sitting elsewhere or asking politely if they could turn it down?

Scarletttulips · 22/02/2024 07:53

Children aren’t allowed to be unaccompanied

The parents were there, they weren’t abandoned.

TheChosenTwo · 22/02/2024 07:57

Is your issue the loud iPads or that they were unattended? I mean I suppose really they should have taken it in turns to go out but they could see the dc and they don’t sound like they were in any danger or causing trouble.
Loud iPads can be annoying but the pub must have been very quiet or you sat right on top of them for it to have been causing too much of a disturbance.

cerisepanther73 · 22/02/2024 07:59

@LGyouknow

The two real issues here is the first one is both parents leaving their children unattended to smoke on a regular basia temporary,
whoever is an adults near them,

these shitty kind of parents are half expectly them to be like babysitters by proxy their offspring too,

Cheeky fuckers

Also the constant noise of the children being entertained on their play devices creates discomfort to whoever is outside sitting on beer tables on their own or socialising too...

You could have had a word with the staff member of pub about that...

mollyfolk · 22/02/2024 08:09

I think it’s fine they were unattended (especially as they were visible) I would go to the loo and leave 2 kids at the table in if I needed to. It sounds like a pleasant, safe and family friendly place. What did you think would happen to them? I mean they probably won’t win a top parenting medal for leaving them to go out for a smoke for all sorts of reasons but it’s not putting them in danger.

But, noise blaring out of iPads is a pet hate of mine. Grown adults have started to do it on the train! I think we need a public information campaign letting people know it’s rude!

fusspot25 · 22/02/2024 08:17

Oh ffs they weren't abandoned were they? The parents were stood outside and could see them.

The volume on the iPad would annoy me though.

Elecrricmaracas · 22/02/2024 08:37

If both adults smoke, they should go one at a time. I wouldn't leave kids completely unattended. I also wouldn't let them have their iPads on loudly. I do allow my kids to have iPads in the pub but they have to have the volume low enough so as not to disturb anyone else.

Waitingfordoggo · 22/02/2024 08:43

I don’t think it’s massively neglectful but it is pretty crap parenting. Poor kids.

Also- every 15 minutes?! Blimey. I was a very committed smoker for quite a lot of years but even I could go an hour or two between fags 😂

Untilitisnt · 22/02/2024 08:45

Did it have a flat roof?

GOODCAT · 22/02/2024 08:48

This is kind of the reverse of my childhood. We weren't allowed in the pub, so sat outside in all weathers. The adults were inside smoking and drinking. No such thing as iPads then.

I am with you OP iPads are really annoying when you can hear what is coming out of them.

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