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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sleepovers and husband

16 replies

CarRer · 19/02/2024 22:09

I’ve name changed for this for obvious reasons.

My husband sleeps naked. Has done for the past 10 years. Our daughter is 7 and has recently started requesting sleepovers. So far she has been allowed one sleepover with a school friend. Once they were asleep my husband and I went to bed and I suggested to my husband that he should sleep with pants on just in case the child wandered into our room in the night. My husband refused point blank and said he can’t sleep with pants on because he finds it uncomfortable. I pointed out that it would be awful if the child saw him naked but he didn’t think there was any risk. We had an argument but I couldn’t make him change his mind.

We have always slept with our bedroom door open so that we can hear our daughter in the night if she calls out.

I would be absolutely appalled if my daughter went for a sleepover and ended up seeing her friends father naked.

Am I being unreasonable to be really angry that he was unwilling to be slightly uncomfortable for the sake of safeguarding a 7 year old child? I am now uncomfortable with having any more sleepovers which seems very unfair on our daughter.

OP posts:
mynamechangemyrules · 19/02/2024 22:12

I think that's an idiotic reaction from him and if he really can't see it then he can go somewhere else and sleep naked while your daughter has her sleepover

TheChosenTwo · 19/02/2024 22:13

Dh and I only wear underwear in bed if there are other peoples dc sleeping in the house!
We both sleep naked otherwise, I always have a tshirt by the bed ‘just in case’ but I absolutely hate sleeping with clothes on.
I think he should make an effort to put some pants on when there’s another child in the house but I think it’s a bit OTT sleeping with your bedroom door open, your dc is 7!!

Countrygirlxo · 19/02/2024 22:14

I'm with your husband, I can't sleep with pyjamas on.
Id say shut the door, if your daughter needs you im sure she will shout loud enough to hear through a closed door

RawBloomers · 19/02/2024 22:15

I normally sleep naked but wear knickers and t-shirt when the kids have sleepovers. That’s mainly because I’m liable to blunder out of the room while pulling my dressing gown around me, not because I’m worried about the kids blundering into the bedroom and the covers being off.

Can’t you shut the door during sleepovers? At 7 your DD is surely old enough to come and get you if you’re needed?

mypafology · 19/02/2024 22:15

I think he should be able to sleep how he wants. Is it likely that the child would come wandering into your bedroom in the middle of the night and fling back your covers to see him naked?

I would close the bedroom door though.

MasterBeth · 19/02/2024 22:16

Do you sleep with no bed covers? Unless you do, this is not a problem.

Galeforcewindatmywindow · 19/02/2024 22:16

At 7 I would expect dd to be able to come knock on your door.... Don't you ever have sex???

dancinginthewind · 19/02/2024 22:18

DH and I have special sleepover PJs. For that matter, so do the DC. We tend to just wear (clean) underwear ordinarily but don't think that that is appropriate when other people's children are in the house.
DC1 had three or four friends for a sleepover of her 9th birthday party several years ago. I remember being asleep and then being conscious of a noise and waking up to see one of the little girls standing right by the bed, sobbing as had woken up & was homesick. I immediately got up, out of bed and took her down to the kitchen. Making sure I had appropriate clothes on would have made it really awkward.

Soapboxqueen · 19/02/2024 22:22

Just don't allow your child to have sleepovers if he can't at least put some underpants on.

I sleep naked but always put something on if we have guests.

There's plenty of reason what he might need to get up urgently, forget there are guests in the house and neglect to put something on.

Even if it's just for his own safety.

Farwell · 19/02/2024 22:23

Shut your bedroom door and teach your daughter to knock if she needs you.

ACynicalDad · 19/02/2024 22:25

That's grim, if he can't put pants on send him to sleep in a tent or something.

Original poster
CarRer · 19/02/2024 22:26

We also sleep with the door open for a beeeze because our house is very hot. It gets stuffy if it’s closed, even with the window open.

And yes, @mypafology and @MasterBeth he regularly sleeps without the covers completely covering him because it gets so warm.

OP posts:
Dunnoburt · 19/02/2024 22:27

Funnily enough we hosted our first sleepover this weekend just gone..... I'm normally just bottom half in knicks but slept in pj's just in case! OH was same and wore pants and t shirt

shreknjumps · 19/02/2024 22:31

Some people just have no thought for anyone else around them. Your husband is one of them.

I slept in my friends bed with her the night before her wedding. There's me in my pjs, imagine my surprise the next morning when I wake up to find she's lost most of the covers and is there starkers 😒

Hedonism · 19/02/2024 22:34

I remember sleeping over at a friend's house when I was about 7 or 8 and waking up to see her dad standing in the bedroom doorway, totally starkers. It's not a good memory.

Tell your DH to stop being silly and put some pants on.

blankittyblank · 19/02/2024 22:53

CarRer · 19/02/2024 22:26

We also sleep with the door open for a beeeze because our house is very hot. It gets stuffy if it’s closed, even with the window open.

And yes, @mypafology and @MasterBeth he regularly sleeps without the covers completely covering him because it gets so warm.

That's made me wonder - what would be do if he was in a more "public" place? My son is currently in inpatient, we've been here months, and one of us has to sleep in the room. Obviously doctors and nurses are always in and out, and sometimes we need to get out of bed while they're here.
I mean, I guess he'd have to sleep wearing something in this environment.
It does seem ridiculous that he can't go one night without being naked!

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