Chronic fear of making decisions

[WhyWhyY]

I am going through a bit at the moment and I find myself chronically scared of making the wrong decision.
From where to move to, to what used car to buy … I’m finding it all so overwhelming and I don’t know what to do so I end up choosing nothing.

Sorry, this isn’t going to be massively helpful, but I totally understand how you’re feeling. I have to make a massive decision about my work over the next two days, and I’ve already been putting it off for over a week because I have no idea what to do. The only thing I can say is that I’m going to go with my gut. No idea what else to do, so instinct it is for me.

No that is massively helpful because it’s nice to hear (in a way) that I’m not alone.

would you like to share your dilemma? Maybe we can help

I don’t want to say too much, but my dilemma is to do with closing the physical premises of my business and focusing on the online side. It’s been there for years so will be a big step. Feel free to PM me if you want a chat about your specific situation.

I often struggle with this and as an overthinker, I tend to get analysis paralysis - I think through all possible options and end up getting overwhelmed and not doing anything.

What helps me is having some simple rules/putting parameters in place to reduce the options. So for a car - x doors, y miles, z make etc. Like a little filter mechanism for my brain.

At the end of the day, fortunately none of my decisions are life and death, so I have to keep reminding myself of that. Be confident in your choice and accept you did what you thought was best at the time.

Are you me? Exactly the same fears currently, for me it's on the back of a really tough time and generally feeling very anxious and overwhelmed and struggling with GAD, so lots of excessive worrying and struggling massively with uncertainty, real fear of making a bad decision and my life spiralling further. Am on medication, having counselling and all that, I also work in MH so 'know' how to tackle it but obviously harder applying it to myself.

I'm the same and suffer with GAD.

Me too. Always been like this. I remember getting pulled up for it in the Scouts.

I have this! It’s so annoying. I take ages to make a decision and then it ALWAYS ends up being the wrong one too in the end, so then I’m even worse the next time I have to make one!
nightmare!

Im off to look up GAD

Ive had a few years really where all the big decisions I’ve made have turned out wrongly and now im totally paralysed! I’ve always been pretty upbeat!

say for instance, I’ve had car finance before but now the thought of paying the same car finance I’ve paid before is making me feel sick! I know I can afford it, I know it’s worked out fine before but I’m just stuck to take the leap. I’m wondering what awful thing will come down the road to
show me my decision was wrong!

I am the same, I have bipolar disorder and a history of anxiety and inattentive difficulties. Due to these things I doubt myself constantly and get overwhelmed. Ultimately writing down 3 bullet points, 1 word only for each one helps me, as I am looking at each word it focuses my mind and I get the instinct of which choice is right. Surprisingly effective!

What always helps me when I start overthinking is remembering that not making a decision is also another decision because doing nothing often has its own outcomes and you can't even control the outcome if you didn't actively decide something.

I have crippling indecision too but don't know what GAD is?

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

This is me everyday and it makes me miserable and it could be such a tiny decision to make.

I get like this; I try to narrow it down to 3 options and then I ask other peoples opinions and I don’t necessarily follow their views but it often helps my decision as I’ll realise I don’t want to take that option or it’ll feel right.

Also relate. We are renovating and extending our home at the moment and I wonder why on earth I thought this would be a good idea 😔.

i saw a counsellor for a while because of anxiety and depression. She did say that I see things as either catastrophe or perfect and to acknowledge that is unrealistic. Most of the times, our decisions are ok and sit between these two extremes. And life is about the shades of grey between catastrophe and perfection. It helped a bit.

I was like this about a career decision and it literally took me years to finally make a decision - I did it despite all the obstacles in the way.

I have anxiety and do tend to overthink a lot but some things that have helped is to realise that by not making a decision and doing nothing by default IS actually making a decision (you may lose an opportunity due to the time available to make the decision etc) so don’t avoid making it, so be in control and just make smaller decisions if possible related to the bigger one.

Also, unless the decision has life-threatening consequences, go in with a curious mindset - if it isn’t 100% right, it is OK, you may be able to change elements surrounding the decision and you will have learned from it, which will help for future decision making.

Another thing to consider is does it have to be one or the other - is it possible to compromise between them or combine or do both in a modified way?