To not understand why people add on extra bits

[MassageForLife]

to their aibu options? Sometimes I find it means I don't agree with either option, but if they had stuck to the obvious options, it would have been straightforward.

Yabu - it makes perfect sense to add extra bits, but don't worry about it because you look fab in that dress

Yanbu - I get what you are saying, which doesn't surprise me, given how amazing and intelligent you are

I have no idea what you're talking about.

You're a lovely mum and you deserve better.

???

You don't have to stick to what a poster says

Just say what you want ti say

Example please

In some cases it really clarifies the options. In others, it doesn’t.
I am much more amused by the fact that people “beef up” their posts with irrelevant detail rather than just succinctly describing the situation. It is probably irrelevant that your neighbour is a blond who goes tango dancing on Thursdays when you want to resolve a parking dispute,

I would like to understand what you are talking about, but I don't.

Yes, I agree OP!

Sometimes I just can't vote because they've manipulated it that much.

I think OP means when someone describes what the YABU and YANBU would mean when it's already pretty straightforward. For example:

My husband wants to watch football with his friends on Valentine's day and I'm not happy about it.

YABU: let the poor lad enjoy football!
YANBU: LTB, that is disgusting behaviour. You deserve better!

YANBU but you still look fab in that dress! 😜

I think the OP means when it's a simple case of YABU or YANBU, the poster will sometimes manipulate the vote so you don't want to go with either, because they've gone so OTT.

So instead of something like...

YABU = You should keep out of your friend's business
YANBU = You should tell her how you feel

They'll put something like...

YABU= You should keep out of your friend's business and be perfectly happy that she's going to ruin her life entirely.

YANBU= You should get involved even though that makes you a horrible, nasty, interfering friend.

Yes, I see this quite a bit.
They try to manipulate the vote by putting extra bits in the question at the end of their OP

I usually just post a comment saying I can't vote either way because neither option applies, and explain why.

@Boobettes , that's exactly the kind of thing!

I don't see it hugely often, but I saw one today. I don't want to give a specific example because it didn't feel fair to pick on a specific poster and also, that would make it a thread about a thread.

So another (made up) example

Imagine someone posts about friends falling out on holiday, maybe they want to do different things, one wants a day to sit by the pool and the other wants to go partying. Neither are wrong. The options might be:

Iabu: i should stay and try to make things work even though she's being completely boring and I'm going to have the most miserable day

Ianbu: i should leave her to do things on her own because she doesn't deserve my company and what she wants to do is beyond dull

Classic misunderstanding of aibu.

It's always yabu, unless it's a reverse.

I can't believe after your options people are asking what you mean!

I find it annoying when the title q and the options are opposite. Eg aibu to think she is a cheeky fucker?
No she is not a cf
Yes she is being a total cf.

How could the vote ever count?
Ffs just messed that up! Bit early.

Yes!! The results are meaningless. I've seen that, and people saying 'i can't believe people are saying yabu' - but of course they are if they actually rtfop, that's what the op asked them to do.

🤣 sometimes people tailor it to get the result they would hope for. I never vote in AIBUs like that because I don't like words being put into my mouth

Hahahaha

Yes, I think it’s often that the OP doesn’t actually want opinions on whether she’s being unreasonable, she just wants people to agree with her, so the YANBU will be a proposition no one could disagree with and the YABU will be a proposition no one could agree with.

Eg someone has fallen out with her MIL:

YANBU everyone should deal with other people with respect

YABU and should just suck up the fact that your MIL is more important than you and bow down and kiss her gnarly feet.

I have the voting switched off so it doesn't really bother me.

Its all totally meaningless to those who have turned off the voting functions.

If you turn off the voting function, can you still see how the votes are going?

Sometimes the majority of views posted on a thread aren't reflected in the vote.

Out of curiosity, why don't you want the option to vote?

No you can't see the voting scores and I just prefer to read the discussion instead of poorly implemented measure influencing my thoughts about a topic of conversation.

Out of curiosity, why don't you want the option to vote?

Why do you want the option to vote?

If you have an opinion then you can post a comment.

Sometimes the options are so unclear that any vote is meaningless.

People vote without actually reading the OP - just the title which often doesn't reflect what is actually stated in the post.

There are often posts which say "oops I pressed the wrong button".

Some of the comments make it clear that the person commenting has completely misunderstood the OP/didn't bother to read the thread or check OPs updates.

I said earlier that I never vote but actually I'm on the app so I don't have the option haha. If I could choose to vote I probably wouldn't bother anyway.