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AIBU?

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Should Ex Husband visit our baby if he has a cold?

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Lou1293 · 06/12/2023 11:51

Hi everyone

I’m a single mum to my 9 week old baby boy and not with his dad (Very messy separation from husband at 35 weeks pregnant after finding out about his affair). Things have been incredibly difficult/toxic since with his Dad not committing to want to see him but just expects to message last minute and come round when he’s available and then questions me if I say I’m not. I’ve asked multiple times that we agree 1 week in advance of 2-3 days a week that he can come over to spend time with DS. Ideally I’d like a set schedule of visits but he says he can’t do this due to shift work (even though it’s a set shift pattern).

I sent a message at the weekend giving 3 days and times that we’d be home for him to come over this week (all worked around his shifts). He messaged 2 hours before on Monday saying he couldn’t come, then yesterday messaged saying he has the ‘worst cold ever’ so couldn’t come again. He didn’t have any symptoms of a cold when he visited on Sunday evening so it’s either an excuse (he’s a compulsive liar) or only in the first few days of the virus so highly contagious.

He’s due to visit tomorrow. AIBU if I say he can’t come if he’s got a terrible cold? He had a cold when DS was 3 weeks old then bub ended up in hospital a week later with bronchiolitis. I’m just worried he’ll say that I’m restricting his access.

Thank you!

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