To wonder if elegance is something you're born with?

[SpeedbirdSquawker]

I long to be elegant and gracious and beautiful. Unfortunately, I'm clumsy and bulky and not very pretty. I often wonder if I can learn or change myself to be these things or am I a loser for life?

Do you see many elegant children around? I don't, which would suggest to me that this is a learned skill. It's hard to define what elegance is, probably a combination of dress style, mannerisms and personality. You cannot change your body shape but you can certainly work on everything else if this is your jam. Personally, I wouldn't fall into a trap thinking that you need to be anything else than what you are to attain a happy life. Not being elegant does not signify you as a loser. Maybe a bit of counselling would help reframe your thinking.

Are you me? As those are the exact words I'd use to describe myself! There's so many things I can't wear, like cute cropped jackets, as I have a wide back and really long arms! Or strappy sandals as my feet are big and wide. I feel like a lump 🙁 I also can't wear anything in a lighter colour because guaranteed I will spill something on myself and stain it. Basically no matter how hard I try, I always look somewhat dishevelled. I will never be elegant.

That being said, I certainly wouldn't call myself a loser. So I'm never going to be the most polished person out there. So what really? I have plenty of other positive qualities. The only negativity I've faced is from people who purely judge on looks. They're not people I'd want to be around anyway.

Ballet. But ideally from childhood.