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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think “friend” has ulterior motives?

6 replies

morganscaptain · 06/11/2023 23:35

So I’ve had a theory that friend doesn’t want me to be single. She’s actually in a long term committed relationship. I think this because:

Any guy I start to see she’s so negative about them and thinks of any reason why I should end it. She gives me patronising/withering looks when I say something like my new neighbour is really hot.
She also makes comments about single, like I shouldn’t bother cooking dinner because I’m single.

I last had lunch with her theee months ago and it was civil but just not enjoyable, to the point where I reevaluated the entire friendship and neither of us have been in touch since.

At the weekend I went out with a guy I’m seeing to a gig (she has no idea as I don’t talk to her about men anymore) and I posted a video on Instagram not really thinking of us singing to one of the songs and she did see it. Then today a text pops up from her asking how I am … am I overthinking it because I think she’s only messaged to find out who the guy was.

OP posts:
nofussatall · 06/11/2023 23:39

She doesn’t sound like much of a friend

Loubelle70 · 06/11/2023 23:43

She doesn't want you finding a better guy than shes got

Loubelle70 · 06/11/2023 23:44

Jealousy

321user123 · 06/11/2023 23:58

100% fishing for info.

determinedtomakethiswork · 07/11/2023 00:12

I just wouldn't reply at all

morganscaptain · 07/11/2023 00:29

nofussatall · 06/11/2023 23:39

She doesn’t sound like much of a friend

What is really sad is that before she had a boyfriend she was a great friend. I suppose I held on to her returning at some point and ignored the bad behaviour.

It was just that lunch that was the real moment of “you really don’t like me do you?”.

Since then I’ve started seeing someone, focused on different friends who genuinely root for me (and me them), I’ve got a new job. I just really worked on myself.

OP posts:
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