To expect my kids just to go to bed

[inthedarkx]

So my 11 12 16 and 17 and 7 year olds never go to bed at a reasonable time. I have to bribe them to go to bed it's not fair I get no ME TIME at all. After all the kids are in bed and cleaning done it's 1:30 in the morning and I get no time to re charge or to enjoy for myself !

I ask them to go to bed they kick off!!! Yes that 16 and 17 year olds can make their own choices but if they don't Go bed the youngest follow !! Their dad has them 4 hours a week ( 6/7 if I'm Lucky, his choice)

I'm so drained and when I ask for his help him and his wife say I chose to keep the kids so suck it up and deal with it

Ask them to help you with the cleaning. Either you’ll get finished earlier or (more likely) they’ll make themselves scarce.

The 7, 11 and 12 year olds ard young enough that bedtime (or at least being in your room and doing something I can't hear you doing time) is whenever you fucking say it is. Send them to bed, if they kick off they can kick off in their rooms, or you enact whatever punishments work (take away phones, lock down thf WiFi etc).

The 16/17 yos are basically adults so you can't really tell them to go to bed; but you can say "I'm having quiet time in the living room watching Breaking Bad/reading my book/staring at the wall muttering to myself from now until 11pm, unless there's an emergency I don't expect to be disturbed", and if they don't like that withhold funds.

Take charge, you are the parent!

Start a new rule. Teach them about sleep hygiene. Do a bath/story/bed routine every night with the 7 Yr old and tuck them up by 7pm. They can read or do a jigsaw etc in bed after you leave but no screen. Come down and have a chat/hot choc/ watch TV/do hw with the 11 and 12 Yr old. On a school night, they go and brush teeth, put pjs on and go to their room at 8 (a bit later on weekend). They can stay awake for an hour but they stay in their room. Tell the oldest 2 the kitchen closes at 9. They need to get all drinks/snacks by 9 and go to their room unless you are watching a film or playing a game etc with them. With kids this old? How come you are doing housework til 1.30am? They can wash and put away dishes, Hoover, dust, change their beds and clean a bathroom. They can Tidy their own stuff, mow the lawn, put the bin out and look after any pets. Personally, I like to do the shopping, cooking and laundry myself, but I'm quite happy to delegate anything else.