To not have visited in hospital?

[JetBlk]

I've been working away with work for the past 3 days and just got back earlier this afternoon. I have a toddler in nursery who I was desperate to see so plan was to have a quick shower, get in some clean clothes at home and then go and get DC early from nursery.

My SS was admitted to hospital on Tues with stomach pain and vomiting, turned out to be quite advanced appendicitis and he had to have surgery to remove it. He's staying in for tonight for obs but should be home tomorrow all being well.

Obviously I was away when this happened but have been keeping up with DH about how he's getting on and he and ex have been at the hospital with SS either together or at least one of them at all times.

As far as I was concerned he was okay, not a nice situation obviously but he's fine and probably coming home soon.

DH however, thinks I'm terribly unreasonable to not have wanted to immediately go and see him at the hospital when I got home.

So what say you? Am I truly evil for instead going to get my DC early instead of rushing to the hospital to see a slightly sore but fine SS?

I am with you and wouldn't see the need to go and visit SS if he has both parents there. Tell him he's been silly and you will see him and make a fuss when he is next round.

Just for clarity, me and SS's mum get on so nothing to do with her being there.

Your DH is batshit. He and his mother are the parents and should attend. Your priority, rightly, is your child and it’s very sad that your husband thinks you should prioritise his son over your child

YANBU. I bet your SS's mum doesn't care. Bizarre of your dh

No I doubt she would!

Who would've had your DC if you'd give to the hospital and not nursery to collect? Surely they're not suggesting taking a toddler to the hospital?
I don't think YABU , he's fine, surgery over and both parents are there

If you were to have gone to the hospital, would your DH have picked up the toddler from nursery or was he expecting you to do both?

You’ve been gone for three days on a work trip, not a holiday and he and his ex were there for their child. SS should be resting anyway and would likely be out of it with painkillers. He’s likely going to be sent home tomorrow anyway. Unless SS asked to see you or about you coming, don’t really see why you would have needed to rush to the hospital if he is likely coming home tomorrow.

Absolutely no need for you to be there!

I picked up my DC early so they technically could have stayed in nursery until later in the day but I wanted to get them once I was back early this afternoon because I've not seen them for 3 days

No, you weren't unreasonable. You had a small child at nursery who was looking forward to seeing you after a few days away.

DH was probably worried, and understandable so. Point out to him that by sorting out your DC you were making it possible for him to be where he needed to be - at his son's bedside.

Where will SS go when he comes out of hospital? If he comes to yours you can make a fuss of him, if he goes to his mum's and you get on well, maybe you can go and see him there.

If it's a nasty appendix he'll be in for a few days. We rarely send anyone who's had their appendix out home after only 24 hours. They are usually on a PCA/NCA infusion anyway.

I wouldn’t have gone.

I also wouldn’t entertain being told off by my DH either. You’re not his parent, he had both of his parents there the whole time and he’s fine.

Yes you could have gone but there was no reason for you to go and you didn’t want to, so that’s the end of it